the pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year,2016.

the pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year,2016.
The pie charts compare the
proportion
of incomes and
expenditures
for an American charity in 2016. It is noticeable that
such
dramatic differences are not seen when we compare the figures for
revenue
and costs in terms of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
money. Donated food received by far the highest
proportion
of the
revenue
sources.
On the other hand
, program services made up the largest amount of
expenditures
. Looking at the information in more detail, we can see that donated food is
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the top of charity’s income sources with 86.6%.
Next
earning sectors followed by community contributions and program
revenue
with only 10.4% and 2.2% respectively.
By contrast
, the same
proportion
of
revenue
(0.2%) is earned by government grants and investment income. In the
expenditures
chart, program services account for the vast majority of consumption with 95.8%. The costs of fundraising
welcomed
Add a missing verb
were welcomed
show examples
by 2.6% as the
second
sector of
expenditures
.
Finally
, the lowest
proportion
of
utilaztion
Correct your spelling
utilization
was management and general, with only 1.6%.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, expenditures, revenue with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising events
  • expenditure
  • administration costs
  • program expenses
  • direct benefits
  • indirect benefits
  • underprivileged children
  • education
  • healthcare
  • shelter
  • nourishment
  • medical treatments
  • basic needs
  • financial sustainability
  • transparency
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