IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

social media has compeletly changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. what are the reasons for this? is it a positive or negative development ?

In
this
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 contemporary era, the way to communicate with others has been completely changed. There are multiple social platforms available namely, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp etc., which help people to connect with their close ones effortlessly on a daily basis. Detailed reasons I will explain in the upcoming paragraphs alongside putting light on its benefits.
Firstly
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, Globalisation helps people to move around the world for various reasons
such
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 as business, study, travel and so on. Technological advancements assist individuals to stay in contact with their friends, family members, colleagues, and bosses easily at a very economical price.
Secondly
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, these are the fast and reliable options as compared to previous methods like letters, and telegrams
along with
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 an option to see each other via video conferencing.
Last
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 but not least, communication is possible without carrying any big system or going to a particular place to talk, a person can talk
while
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 sitting at home through a very handy mobile device. In the context of positive development, it has provided benefits to both society and businesses. In the past time, when an individual migrated to another country, their family members waited for months, or even years to know about their well-being, but now social media has removed all their worries, as they can know about them each and every second. Daily connectivity makes their relationships strong, which sometimes became weaker in past times owing to long distances.
Additionally
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, it aids businesses to expand over the globe. Through
such
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 media platforms, entrepreneurs can communicate with investors living on the other side of the earth, and
also
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 uninterruptedly look after their overseas ventures through continuous connectivity with their employees working in different geographical areas.
To conclude
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, I would wrap up my essay by saying that innovations in technological areas have improved the way to connect with people ensuring a strong bond among them. These social media platforms are a boon to the communities both socially and tradewise.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, try to include a brief summary of your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your arguments. Also, ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to improve clarity.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, some points could benefit from more specific examples. For example, providing a specific case of how social media has helped a family stay in touch might strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the main topic of the essay and your intention to discuss both reasons and benefits, which sets a good foundation for what to expect.
task achievement
You effectively described how social media has transformed communication benefits for both families and businesses, making your arguments relevant and comprehensive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Instant messaging
  • Multimedia content
  • Constant updates
  • Long-distance communication
  • Reconnection
  • Milestones
  • Cyberbullying
  • Quality of interactions
  • Face-to-face communication
  • Over-reliance
  • Misunderstanding
  • Privacy concerns
  • Support systems
  • Community pages
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