A lot of money is spent repairing old buildings. Instead of repairing these buildings, they should be knocked down and replaced with new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

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There has been a prevailing belief that

instead

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of repairing old

buildings

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, they should be demolished and replaced by new ones.

While

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I concur that old

buildings

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should be knocked down and replaced, those with longer historical lengths should be kept and restored for

further

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educational purposes. On the one hand, remaining old

buildings

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could disrupt the modern outlay of an area. Some

buildings

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dated long ago were built in an outdated style that neither translates to the contemporary architectural preferences of modern citizens nor gives off the urban aesthetic provided by more modern

buildings

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For instance

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, having a cottage in the centre of a city does not integrate with the modern, minimalistic skyscrapers nearby.

Besides

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, old

buildings

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, even when repaired, do not sustain as high a level of safety as new ones, requiring cyclic restoration. Maintaining an old building

thus

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is much more expensive than erecting a whole new one. That said, the necessity of removing old-fashioned

buildings

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is not absolute. Historical

buildings

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, like castles or churches, hold great educational and touristic potential.

In other words

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, keeping them not only provides evidence for history learners but

also

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allows for greater occupational opportunities and contributes to the nation’s economic growth. To illustrate, by sustaining villages, a Japanese region has attracted both students coming to learn and tourists visiting, facilitating the local employment and economy. In conclusion, whilst knocking down old

buildings

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can better the municipal appearance, some

buildings

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with high existing age should be maintained since it benefits society and empowers a more immersive learning experience.

tranbaongoc231007Mon Jan 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

When discussing complex issues, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within that paragraph support that topic. Some concepts in your essay, while pertinent, seemed a bit disparate and could have been better connected to the central argument.

coherence cohesion

Be vigilant with your essay structure. Your introduction and conclusion were present and functional, but could be improved for clearer articulation of your thesis and summary of your arguments. Aim for succinct, yet comprehensive introductions and conclusions.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your arguments by making sure each is clearly linked to the question prompt and is expanded with ample support. You have used relevant examples, although additional details or specific evidence could enhance their impact.

task achievement

To fully address the task, it's important to cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly. While you have provided arguments for both sides, make sure you delve deeply into the reasons for your positions and the implications thereof.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive. While your essay demonstrates understanding, further elaboration on key points would showcase a more thorough command of the topic.

task achievement

While you used relevant examples, incorporating a broader range of specific instances or data could have substantiated your claims more effectively. Aim to provide specific evidence to back up each assertion you make.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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A lot of money is spent repairing old buildings. Instead of repairing these buildings, they should be knocked down and replaced with new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

It is common practice for some students to take a gap year between high school and university in order to do charitable work abroad in underdeveloped countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people of doing volunteer work?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is that loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that the best way to deal with heavy traffic in city centers is for privately owned cars to be banned, others however, think this is an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.