IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Science advanced so much that it can now make it possible for people to live 100 years or even 200 years. Some people think it’s a good thing, while others think it is bad. Discuss both these views and write your opinion.

#science #people #years #it’s
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Modern science and technology has made it realistic for human to live more than
one
Use synonyms
 century. Some think it is a positive development, whilst others do not.
Although
Linking Words
 a
life
Use synonyms
 more than eighty years might create a negative impact on the pension system, I believe living with the loved
one
Use synonyms
 can be the most important thing in
life
Use synonyms
. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, more elderly people usually create problems for the retirement pay system for the government. Everybody has an age limit to work and after that they love to stay home, enjoy the
life
Use synonyms
 and want to use their contributions from the authorities as a pension.
For example
Linking Words
, in the Nordic countries the average sixty above people are around forty percentages which governments maintaining by giving a high subsidy on elderly homes.
In addition
Linking Words
, these nations are encouraging young immigrants from southeast Asia and Africa.
However
Linking Words
, I personally think that governments can manage
this
Linking Words
 amount from different other sources and even they can be encouraged to do some handicraft works at their retirement homes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people show their appreciation to the latest inventions in medical science, bio-medical equipments and genetics researches because everyone hates to lose their loved
one
Use synonyms
. In a family where older and younger people live together there is a positive and loving harmony live there. For instant, it has been seen that children who grow up in an extended family are more likely to become mature in
life
Use synonyms
 compare to them who lives in an immediate family only. I believe, no
one
Use synonyms
 wants to die early and the pain of losing a family member is emotionally hurtful. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 live longer may have some disadvantages for the governments, it is a happy thing for the family and friends. In predicted that, in the future people will be fit more than
one
Use synonyms
 hundred years and they will be able to work.
Submitted by sultan.al.arif on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: