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Band 3

Growing number of overweight people put stress on healthcare system. Some people believe that Teaching about physical fitness at school is the solution for this while others don't believe in this. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #stress #healthcare #system #fitness #school
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obesity
Suggestion
Obesity
 has become a huge problem
to
Suggestion
with
in
 our
healtcare
the preservation of mental and physical health by preventing or treating illness through services offered by the health profession
healthcare
 system these days.
people
Suggestion
People
 have
diffrent
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
opinons
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinions
opinion
 on whether or not teaching physical
fitnes
the quality of being suitable
fitness
 at school can be a solution to overcome
this
 problem. Some people think it is and some people think that
its
it is
it's
 not. The following essay will explore these opposing views.
some
Suggestion
Some
 people agreed that teaching physical
fitnes
the quality of being suitable
fitness
 is really important.
the
Suggestion
The
 reason behind
this
 is that it is important for students to stay fit and healthy in their early age to improve their physical strength so they
dont
do not
don't
 get overweight and
dont
do not
don't
 get sick easily.
also research
Accept comma addition
Also, research
Also research
 shows by staying active not only have an effect to physical
health
 but
also
 for mental
health
. The research found out that someone
that
Suggestion
that's
 working out daily is a lot happier than someone that doing it rarely.
moreover sport
Accept comma addition
Moreover, sport
Moreover sport
 is
also
 a really fun
thing to for children
Suggestion
thing for children
thing to four children
thing to four four children
.
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand, some people take the view that teaching physical fitness at school is a waste of time the reason for
this
 is that physical fitness is a personal thing. Every people have
diffrent
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
want
Suggestion
wants
 and needs when it comes to their
health
.
in
Suggestion
In
conclution
a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration
conclusion
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think teaching physical
fitnes
the quality of being suitable
fitness
 at school is really important not only to prevent obesity
also
 it is really important to
rise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
awerness
having knowledge of
awareness
 among student about physical
health
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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