IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #schools #purpose #support
It is undeniable the major purpose of school is to prepare students with academic knowledge, yet, many people argue that the curriculum should adjust to an enjoyable experience. I firmly agree that the teaching methods can add in some entertaining elements to. In
this
 essay, studies of University of Italy and University of Taiwan will be used to prove my argument. The learning materials from school can be hard and boring for some of the students, especially mathematics and science subjects. Game-based on teachings assist the educators to deliver a memorable lesson, which is
also
 beneficial for children’s learning outcome.
This
 means combines the traditional teaching with games or activities that are enjoyable to students. An experiment done by University of Italy found that combine the learning material with games helps the children to absorb the knowledge and achieve higher math performance scores compared with those who are taught with traditional memorizing methods.
Therefore
, game based teaching is not only fun, but
also
 a very effective way to promote academically. One the other hand, subjects
such
 as music, art and PE are associate with refreshing young learners’ mind and improve concentration level.
This
 means additional entertaining courses in-between hard subjects like physics or chemistry is good for students to focus on study.
For instance
, a study from University of Taiwan indicates that after musical class, the youngsters are more focus on their math test and outperform those control subjects.
Consequently
, entertaining subjects are crucial for pupils as well as other subjects. To conclude, education institutions should not solely aim on academics, while relaxing courses are vital for students for a balance results.
Submitted by vickraig on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: