Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

No doubt, celebrities lead tough lives.

However

, there is an ongoing debate that being a famous

person

is not easy for individuals, as it brings many

life

challenges, but

also

comes with benefits. In

this

essay, I will discuss how

this

profession brings more hurdles than benefits. First and foremost, being a famous

person

brings various benefits to an individual’s

life

. It gives fame and fortune to a

person

, allowing many people to live luxurious lives because of their celebrity status. Take Kylie Jenner,

for instance

, the famous influencer of America, whose net worth is approximately billions of dollars, living a lavish

life

and fulfilling all her dreams easily.

Secondly

, these famous personalities

also

receive free membership and sponsorship from many leading companies.

For example

, Cristiano Ronaldo, a renowned athlete, enjoys membership

Change preposition

show examples

Dubai Marine Club, which offers him access to come here whenever he wants, without the need for booking or tickets.

On the other hand

, being a famous

person

is not beneficial for many people. Individuals are constantly surrounded by

media

and journalists 24 hours a day. Their personal

life

becomes headline on social

media

, leaving them with little to no privacy. They struggle to enjoy private time with their loved ones

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because many paparazzi invade their privacy and share those moments on social

media

which creates a lot of misunderstanding.

Consequently

, it affects their image and brings hate and death threats from the audience. Unfortunately, many people experience significant distress or even consider suicide

due to

the negative effects of social

media

. In conclusion, celebrity

life

is not as easy as it seems. No doubt, it brings a lavish

life

, but it can

also

bring hurdles and challenges for an Individual.

Submitted by sadiahussain028 on Sun Feb 25 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task response, try to thoroughly explore both sides of the argument by providing a balanced view before concluding. This could involve discussing in greater detail how the benefits may outweigh the problems for some celebrities, or vice versa, and explaining why.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by focusing on clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. A more explicit signaling of how each paragraph connects to the overall argument could improve the flow and reader comprehension.

coherence cohesion

While supporting your main points with examples is strong, strive to deepen the analysis of these examples. Discuss not just the what, but the why and how—this could provide more insight and strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Adult youths are often called up for the working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid others say that they should not be paid. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To extend do you agree ?