IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

We live in a world of technology these days, While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
The world runs on technology now a days and the internet has a key role to play with its wide range of advantages.
However
, the issues in terms of
control
 and security of
information
 on the internet
is
Suggestion
are
 arguable. In
this
 essay I would emphasize on what can be done to overcome these challenges.
Firstly
, the
information
 about anything and everything is readily available on the World Wide Web which is accessible to everyone. So to impose a
control
 over
this
 data as in to whom, why and how it is concerned is difficult. So organizations like Google, Yahoo, Facebook,
Netflix etc
Accept comma addition
Netflix, etc.
Netflix etc.
 collect basic
information
 about the user and will display them only the content that they might be interested in accordance to their preferences.
This
 way the discrepancy in the
control
 over data is very much eradicated. In terms of Security, the so called millennials of
this
 generation are always excited to post pictures or videos on social media. There might be a fear of losing their data or compromising their privacy by using their
information
 from social media by the
companies but
Accept comma addition
companies, but
 in fact the data lies safe as there are security norms a social media platform has to adhere to.
Also
, for the very same reason the
information
 can be shared
to
Suggestion
with
 everyone or to only a certain group of people as per the user’s desire. I would like to conclude that to pick-up along with the adverse growth in the internet usage, the companies are
also
 introducing new techniques to safeguard the
control
 and security of user’s data.
Submitted by akhilavarma18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: