IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

#say #countries #food #education
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It is a fact that, almost 80% of world's wealth is managed by 20% of the Countries. There are many people who think, it's the responsibility of developed countries to
support
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 poor countries with
food
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 and education. Yes, it is important for rich countries to
support
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 developing countries with
food
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 & education during a humanitarian
crisis
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, but it should not be a long time policy. In
this
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 essay, I will put forth my views with suitable examples.
Firstly
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, during a
crisis
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 like civil war or a natural disaster, it's important for developing countries to
support
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 the
country
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 in
crisis
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, but it should be only till the time the
country
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 recovers from the
crisis
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. If rich countries keep supporting poor countries, in the long run the host
country
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 will ever develop their own governing systems and
this
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 will have an adverse effect on the welfare of the people.
For example
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, after the post war era, North Korea was completely dependent on Soviet union for their basic need like
food
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, fuel, infrastructure etc.. But once the Soviet Union pulled out of the alliance, it led to the complete breakdown of the
country
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.
Secondly
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,
instead
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 of providing
food
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 and education, rich countries should help poor countries to develop their own policies and governing mechanism. If developing countries are completely dependent on aides from rich countries,
then
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 it will end with huge debts and it will lead to a full scale financial
crisis
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.
For example
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, some of the smaller countries in Asia pacific region, is still dependent on aides from developed countries like the US and France,
this
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 has completely drowned these smaller countries in debt. To sum up, I believe, when a
country
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 is in
crisis
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, it's the prerogative of developed countries to
support
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 them, but
this
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 should be used as opportunity to hijack or interfere in their internal affairs.
Submitted by ns.davis.1990 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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