In recent years,there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by the young in cities. What has caused this?what solutions can you suggest

#years #rise #crimes #cities

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Over the

last

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few years, more and more serious

crimes

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have been committed by young

people

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, which has become one of the major problems that

people

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should pay attention to.

While

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video

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games

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are a major reason behind

this

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issue, I believe it can effectively be tackled not only through psychological advice but

also

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with parental attention. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both the causes and reliable solutions to

this

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issue. On the one hand, there tends to be one main factor in the increasing crime rate. The main force behind

this

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issue is

video

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games

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. In today's rapidly evolving world, young

people

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have a great chance to play

wide

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a wide

show examples

variety of

video

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games

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, as advanced technology provides golden opportunities for gaming.

However

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, many young

people

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choose harmful and inappropriate

games

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for themselves. By playing aggressive and violent

games

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, their behaviour may change in negative ways.

For example

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, if children spend more and more time playing aggressive and violent

games

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, their minds and behaviour become more inclined towards committing serious

crimes

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. The main reason is that many evil groups try hard to poison children's brains, and by doing so, they can achieve an increase in crime rates among younger

people

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. The game "Run or Die" can be the best example of

this

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situation.

On the other hand

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, despite the fact that

video

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games

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are increasing

crimes

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, there is a reliable solution to

this

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problem. The viable solution involves psychologists and parents. Even if youngsters are addicted to

video

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games

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, psychologists and parents can help them.

For example

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, psychologists should give more advice and create an appropriate lifestyle for the younger generation.

Likewise

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, parents should spend more time with their children and should not allow them to play aggressive

video

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games

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. In

this

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way, young

people

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can avoid

crimes

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and difficulties in their lives. In conclusion,

although

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video

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games

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lead to serious

crimes

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, they can be addressed with the solutions mentioned in the previous paragraphs. From my personal point of view, in order to tackle

this

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problem, both psychological advice and parental attention are crucial.

Submitted by shakhzod0905 on Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding the discussion on more varied causes of youth crime, such as social and economic factors, aside from video games. This will enrich the essay and provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.

task achievement

Provide a few more concrete and diverse examples to illustrate how video games and lack of parental supervision lead to crimes. Specific examples strengthen your argument and provide clarity.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph has topic sentences that clearly indicate what will be discussed. This will further improve the logical flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Try to use transitions more smoothly between paragraphs. Words like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'Furthermore' can help connect ideas seamlessly.

coherence cohesion

The essay begins with a clear introduction, outlining both the problem and suggested solutions.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of the suggested solutions, providing a strong ending.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Breakdown of family structures
Peer pressure
Socioeconomic factors
Exposure to violence
Lack of recreational facilities
Mental health issues
Substance abuse
Weak law enforcement
Single-parent families
Parental supervision
Illegal activities
Social acceptance
Poverty
Unemployment
Lack of education
Violent neighborhoods
Violent media
Recreational options
Idle time
Impulsive behaviors
Aggressive behaviors
Insufficient policing
Legal consequences
Deter

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In recent years,there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by the young in cities. What has caused this?what solutions can you suggest

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Why do celebrities earn more money than politicians? Is it a positive or negative development?

You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company’s manager. In your letter: give details of the celebration explain the reason why you need time off suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

friend of yours is going on holiday soon and has asked you to recommend a destination. Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before.Say where you went, where you stayed, what you can do there and what the food was like.