Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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It is true that celebrities, these days are looked upon for their money and fashion rather than their achievements, which are impressionable to youngsters. In my opinion, I completely agree with

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above statement, and

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essay will discuss and support my stand.

To begin

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with,

Firstly

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, famous people are easily eye catching to the young minds mainly because of their lifestyle and capital. As they possess the most expensive cars, clothes, property and jewellery, so

this

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thing attracts teens more easily.

For example

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, Shah Rukh Khan, he is one of the best and the richest actors in the Indian film industries who have a very luxurious lifestyle, and it has a great impact on teenagers to follow his footsteps in terms of fashion and style.

However

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, young people ignore the fact that how hard he struggled to achieve so much.

Secondly

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, their glamourous living encourages youngsters to buy things unnecessarily in order to look like them.

Finally

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Also

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, they spent lots of cash without thinking about their budget. Another important factor that sets a wrong example for teens from celebrities is that they always represent the perfect body type in cinema or any public appearance

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it not imperative to do so. But

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mindset of the perfect figure is creating pressure among teenagers to have an excellent body shape

as a result

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many are dieting neglecting their health.

For instance

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, super models these days are so slim that every girl's dream is to become slim just like models, but

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trend has proved detrimental for many young girl's mindset.

Therefore

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this

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trend of slimming down is leading many girls to an anorexic body which has potential risks to their health. In conclusion, celebs high standard of living affects young people easily where they ignore their whole hard working journey and achievements. In my view, I strongly believe that these famous people set a wrong impression on teens in terms of money and fashion.

Submitted by syedmujeeb933 on Fri Nov 15 2019

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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