Many educated and successful people, such as doctors, lawyers, and computer scientists, are leaving developing countries where they grew up and moving to developed countries to live permanently. Discuss some problems with this trend and offer some possible solutions.

In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world, a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of
outsatanding
Correct your spelling
outstanding
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are doing many
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
such
as in law, science, technology,
pharmacy
Correct word choice
and pharmacy
show examples
, tend to leave developing
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
and move to developed
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
in order to live forever.
This
essay will examine the problems with
this
trend and discuss some possible solutions. There are some influences
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
developing
countries
.
First,
these
countries
will drop the number of dominant
people
which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
effection of growing up
countries
. There are no more talented
people
to carry out experiments, surgeons,
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and agruments
show examples
agruments
Correct your spelling
arguments
as successfully as others. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
, these
countries
will
be falling
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
down and can not afford to compete
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
other developing
countries
.
For example
, experiences are
transmited
Correct your spelling
transmitted
generation by generation but if the
last
one who is
heired
Correct your spelling
hired
moving
Wrong verb form
moves
show examples
to another country so there will
no
Add a missing verb
be no
show examples
more connection between generations. Recommended solutions to
this
issue might be trying to improve the quality and condition
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
distinguished
people
in developing
countries
. One of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
why they move to developed
countries
is not
satisfy
Fix the infinitive
to satisfy
show examples
their
efford
Correct your spelling
afford
and demand.
Thus
, they find out another better environment, salary,
Correct word choice
and condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
for them to promote
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
.
Moreover
, developing
countries
, where they were born and
grown
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
up, are really meaningful
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
everyone anyway.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gifted
people
should think about what they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
received in the past in their
countries
by opening the
themtic
Correct your spelling
thematic
to educate them when they were young.
Submitted by lephianh14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: