Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefit individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

It is thought that
students
who study at
universities
gain more benefits than society so they have to pay full school fees.
This
essay will disagree with that statement
by
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
the economic hardness and dedication of post-graduate pupils. Graduated
students
from
universities
are mainly professional blue and white-collar workers.
Thus
, many authorities in countries have been providing lots of scholarships for high school pupils who may attend their
universities
in the future.
For example
, in Vietnam, all public transportation and amenities give people a discount of half the price of the tickets when they have student cards. Because of the wealth divided,
thus
, most all of the
universities
get the graduates just pay a part of the study fees if their families are in a special or poor range.
Moreover
, insurance financial scholarships are usually given by companies or industrial organizations to help their possible future staff generations. Many scholars, cannot manage their timeline
while
working parallel with studying. Because of financial problems, many graduates are forced to drop out to find an early job that
earning
Wrong verb form
earns
show examples
for their lives what are the consequences of low-quality workers?
Hence
, governments and schools have been paying more attention to timetables and levels of fees to fit in with the budgets and demands of participants. Society, admitted by professors gains more benefits from fully developed
students
than dropout counterparts which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
marked by Asian countries In conclusion, there is no doubt
to say
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
universities
Change the noun form
university
show examples
students
dedicate more to society compared with their self. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, there is no reason for scholars to pay all study costs
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by offering deeper insights or more detailed explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a clearer illustration of your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance clarity and readability, pay attention to sentence structure and diversity. Consider varying sentence lengths and structures to make your writing more engaging.
General
Revise and proofread your essay for minor inaccuracies or errors in grammar and vocabulary. While these are not significantly impacting your score, refining these areas can improve the overall readability and professionalism of your writing.
Task Achievement
You've effectively used examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and illustrates your ideas clearly.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear position and argues it throughout, maintaining relevance to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've structured your essay in a manner that guides the reader through your arguments cohesively, with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: