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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level
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It is argued that theatre,
art
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 and
music
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 should be considered as the prime subjects like maths and science at the elementary
level
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.
This
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 essay disagrees with that statement because there are more career opportunities in the field of the main subjects like math, and it is more important to clear the basic concept of these subjects at primary
level
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. If people pursue their studies in
art
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 and
music
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, fewer employment options are available to them.
This
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 is because
music
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 and
art
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 have a limited career scope as it depends on the person’s talent and not everyone is gifted with a good voice or better acting skills.
For example
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, a recent survey in India exhibits that more than 50% of the artists who wanted to pursue their job in acting or
music
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 are jobless and cannot feed their families due to unemployment. Another reason why math and science should be given more importance than
art
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 is the fact that the foundation of these subjects is built at the elementary
level
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.
In other words
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, if the concept of students about the basic principle is not clear, they cannot solve difficult problems in high school.
For instance
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, Algebra is a branch of mathematics which students study at primary
level
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 and failing to understand it, will lead to the problems in solving applications of Algebra in high school. In conclusion,
music
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 and
art
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 should not be given equal importance as other subjects, especially at the elementary
level
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 because there are more chances of finding jobs if people pursue their career in core subjects, and it is important to know the fundamental idea of the main subjects at junior school.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
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