IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions

#quality #life #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since past many decades, the optimization of living
better
Suggestion
the good
life
Use synonyms
 has drawn many residents in the bigger towns.
However
Linking Words
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the past, having a good lifestyle is nothing but a mirage due to the constant declination of the standard of living especially in the metro cities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will suggest that the principal causes of these issues are the over-population and negligible social
life
Use synonyms
 and submit efficient migration policies and improve connection with
oneselves
reflexive form of "us"
ourselves
 families and community as a viable solution. The main cause of lowering lifestyle's crisis, which is currently affecting
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of the
city
Use synonyms
 population is the heavy influx of the people in the
city
Use synonyms
 and the
government
Use synonyms
 may fail to cater the required infrastructure facilities like schools, medical services and community places,
also
Linking Words
 with increasing people, the job opportunities are
dwindled
Suggestion
dwindling
 and as a consequence they have to compromise with the
life
Use synonyms
 they had dreamt of. In the recent study held by
Indian
Suggestion
the Indian government
government
Use synonyms
, almost 30% people who has shifted to cities in the past has failed to find jobs in their field and have to prefer cash jobs for their livelihood.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, to earn
livelihood
Suggestion
a livelihood
 in the competitive job market people can hardly spare any time for family and social
life
Use synonyms
. The most practical solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem is that
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
governments
 should introduce intra- country migration policies. An effective policy could distribute the people in the
cities according
Accept comma addition
cities, according
 to the need of the
city
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the Northern provinces in India
has
Suggestion
have
 cities which
requires
Suggestion
require
skillset
Suggestion
 of engineers for developing latest infrastructure,
hence
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 should lobby their engineer citizens who want to migrate in these cities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the people should consider involving into more social activities and attend the get
togethers
in contact with each other or in proximity
together
 of their community living in their
city
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 will not only help to develop the contacts but improve their social
life
Use synonyms
. In summary, it is evident
for
Suggestion
in
 the above discussed illustrations that there are various
vauses
give rise to; cause to happen or occur, not always intentionally
causes
 responsible for
deplination
a copy that corresponds to an original exactly
duplication
depletion
 of living standards in the big cities which are resolvable if appropriate actions and taken by the individuals and the
government
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kruti91.patel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Strained resources
  • Commute times
  • Economic stress
  • Community events
  • Affordable housing
  • Environmental regulations
  • Green spaces
  • Urban environments
  • Socialize
  • Foster
  • Tackle
  • Strategies
  • Implementing
  • Pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: