Some people think that old people should not be forced by law to retire at a certain age if they wish to continue working. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, there have been growing concerns about seeking another job after
retirement
and the age of
retirement
seems younger. Some
people
may have claimed that the government should allow old employees to
work
younger, even after a certain age, if they want.
However
, personally, I disagree with
this
suggestion because I am concerned about depriving the younger generation of opportunities and a
company
’s profits.
Firstly
, old
people
should be encouraged to step out of the
company
because they might cause a loss to the
company
. I understand that old
workers
desire to maintain their professional careers and it seems profitable for both companies and individuals to some degree, but I believe old
people
cannot keep up with the trend of
work
in the long run since they are extremely geared to use past experiences.
In other words
, it is hard for old
workers
to figure out recent knowledge efficiently and they are not familiar with using technological devices without young employees.
This
situation might be able to delay the
company
’s project, which will eventually bring a loss to the
company
.
Moreover
, there are several reasons to stop working with old
people
. If they are able to
work
longer, they may deprive job opportunities of young
people
. In Korea,
for instance
, jobseekers have complained that it is difficult to get a job as the
company
has maintained the number of old
workers
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thereby limiting the number of entire employees. I
also
feel frustrated with
this
issue because the younger generation can lose self-confidence.
In addition
,
people
can take care of their health and enjoy life after
retirement
. What
this
explains is that working busy for a long time,
due to
the heavy workloads, they may have been stressed a lot. For these reasons, I think
retirement
seems an appropriate time to help
people
to look after themselves. In conclusion, encouraging
people
to
work
longer if they wish after a certain age seems to have numerous challenges to both society and companies. I firmly disagree with
this
statement because old
people
might be able to make companies struggle and take the younger generation’s future. We should pay attention to young
workers
rather than old
workers
.
Submitted by kchengii on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are skillfully crafted, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing your argument effectively. To further enhance clarity, consider refining transitions between ideas within paragraphs.
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complete response
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clear comprehensive ideas
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