Some people think that old people should not be forced by law to retire at a certain age if they wish to continue working. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, there have been growing concerns about seeking another job after

retirement

Use synonyms

and the age of

retirement

Use synonyms

seems younger. Some

people

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may have claimed that the government should allow old employees to

work

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younger, even after a certain age, if they want.

However

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, personally, I disagree with

this

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suggestion because I am concerned about depriving the younger generation of opportunities and a

company

Use synonyms

’s profits.

Firstly

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, old

people

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should be encouraged to step out of the

company

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because they might cause a loss to the

company

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. I understand that old

workers

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desire to maintain their professional careers and it seems profitable for both companies and individuals to some degree, but I believe old

people

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cannot keep up with the trend of

work

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in the long run since they are extremely geared to use past experiences.

In other words

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, it is hard for old

workers

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to figure out recent knowledge efficiently and they are not familiar with using technological devices without young employees.

This

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situation might be able to delay the

company

Use synonyms

’s project, which will eventually bring a loss to the

company

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Moreover

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, there are several reasons to stop working with old

people

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. If they are able to

work

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longer, they may deprive job opportunities of young

people

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. In Korea,

for instance

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, jobseekers have complained that it is difficult to get a job as the

company

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has maintained the number of old

workers

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and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

thereby limiting the number of entire employees. I

also

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feel frustrated with

this

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issue because the younger generation can lose self-confidence.

In addition

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people

Use synonyms

can take care of their health and enjoy life after

retirement

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. What

this

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explains is that working busy for a long time,

due to

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the heavy workloads, they may have been stressed a lot. For these reasons, I think

retirement

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seems an appropriate time to help

people

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to look after themselves. In conclusion, encouraging

people

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work

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longer if they wish after a certain age seems to have numerous challenges to both society and companies. I firmly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement because old

people

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might be able to make companies struggle and take the younger generation’s future. We should pay attention to young

workers

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rather than old

workers

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kchengii

May 9, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are skillfully crafted, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing your argument effectively. To further enhance clarity, consider refining transitions between ideas within paragraphs.

task achievement

While your essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt, incorporating relevant examples would strengthen your argument. Consider integrating more specific instances or data to support your claims.

introduction conclusion present

You've effectively presented a clear, concise stance in your introduction and conclusion, which enhances the overall coherence of your essay.

logical structure

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with a smooth flow of ideas and effective paragraphing, which aids in understanding your arguments.

supported main points

The main points in your essay are well-supported by explanations, although incorporating more specific examples could provide stronger backing to your claims.

complete response

You have successfully addressed the prompt with a complete response, articulating your viewpoints clearly throughout the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are presented clearly and comprehensively, making your position known and understood.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

366 words

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Some people think that old people should not be forced by law to retire at a certain age if they wish to continue working. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films, need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources, while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?