IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, International Tourism is one of the biggest industries in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#tourism #industries #world #tension #people #cultures
It is
aruged
present reasons and arguments
argued
urged
 that
,
Accept space
,
International tourism has become one out of major industries across the globe in the recent
days which
Accept comma addition
days, which
 many people think
,
Accept space
,
it has to be worried rather than having cooperation among country's citizen and their
culture
.I completely disagree with
this
, because of the
language
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
 which most of the people manage communicating with tourists and the diverse restaurants, which allows them to explore
variety
Suggestion
a variety
 of
culture
 and people without
hassle
Suggestion
the hassle
.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
humans are giving importance to education all over the world which in turn they are learning other languages like
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
 which facilitates the smooth communication with visitors. They are trying to communicate with the common
language
 as well as with sign
language
 to provide the comforts for foreign
visitors which
Accept comma addition
visitors, which
 is giving rise to more of tourism agencies everywhere.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
people are keen to explore different countries as a holiday for relaxation, experience various
culture
Suggestion
cultures
.
Language
 should not be a problem these days as there are many websites where
language
 translation is
also
 available.
On the other hand
, many
restuarants
a building where people go to eat
restaurants
restraints
 are available in hand which are opened
mainlt
for the most part
mainly
meant
 to serve foreigners so that they should not be disappointed with the food.
However most
Accept comma addition
However, most
 of the tourists like to explore different kinds of dishes of respective
countires
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
counties
 or places.
For Instance
, many
chinese
a native or inhabitant of Communist China or of Nationalist China
Chinese
 street food are not found in other countries which is
life time
Suggestion
a life time
the life time
 experience to have it there rather than having the routine dishes. To conclude, foreign trips does not disappoint in terms of understanding their people or
culture
,
Accept space
,
where as
its
it is
it's
 an
oppurtunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
opportunities
 for people to explore
diverse
Suggestion
diverse cultures
the diverse culture
culture
 which is possible because of common
language
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
 or
hindi
the most widely spoken of modern Indic vernaculars; spoken mostly in the north of India; along with English it is one of the main official languages of India; usually written in Devanagari script
Hindi
,
Accept space
,
also
 the food.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: