Some people believe that the Olympics Games do not have a role in the 21st Century. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
It is often claimed that
people
do not anymore perceive the Olympic
Games
as important to the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Nevertheless
, I believe that many individuals
these days still value the role of these competitions
in giving pride and honour to a country and in releasing patriotic emotions in a positive way.
It is evident that many individuals
today still demonstrate the same degree of patriotism as they did in the past whenever the Olympic
Games
are
held. Apparently, it might seem as though many have forgotten the value of these Wrong verb form
were
competitions
because technology has made significant inroads in many aspects of people
’s lives these days, taking their attention away from the world of sports and diverting it to other priorities. However
, these same advances in technology have also
enabled a larger audience to cheer for their teams and watch international sporting events more closely through live streaming channels, real-time posts on social media, and websites and online forums that track the standing of countries
in various competitions
. With this
premise, therefore
, it can be argued that the Olympic
Games
still play a vital role in inspiring in people
a sense of pride and nationalism amid the waves of modernization that have swept many societies in this
generation.
In addition
, people
still recognize the importance of the Olympics in fostering unity and harmony among countries
. Many people
still think that these games
are an excellent opportunity to put aside their differences and gather together in one international event. In fact, warring nations still make it a point to send their representatives to these competitions
and support their delegates by means of funding their athletes’ training and sports equipment. Host countries
, even allocate a significant amount of money for the construction of such
facilities as stadiums, open fields, gymnasiums, and covered courts to hold these games
. This
only goes to show that governments still see the role the Olympics play in uniting countries
and helping individuals
set aside their differences amid the mounting tensions contemporary societies these days are experiencing.
To conclude
, although
there is a notion that certain individuals
do not anymore recognize the importance of the Olympic
Games
in the 21st century, I completely disagree with this
view. From my perspective, governments and individuals
across the globe are starting to value these sporting events even more along with
the developments the world has seen in this
modern age.Submitted by kkbor010 on
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task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen points, such as referencing a particular recent Olympics or specific events where patriotism was notably evident.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by utilizing transition words more effectively between paragraphs or key points.
introduction
The introduction effectively outlines the writer's viewpoint and sets the stage for the essay.
logical structure
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, effectively using paragraphs to separate different ideas and arguments.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance, leaving a strong final impression.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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