IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefit does the tourism brings to individual and society?

The majority of the modern society is well attracted towards travel and adventure activities.
Hence
Linking Words
, travel and
tourism
Use synonyms
 sectors
has now reached
Suggestion
had now reached
have now reached
 its peak in almost all the countries. It has a positive impact on financial and social status of the individuals and the community, it
also
Linking Words
 promotes cultural exchange. Obviously,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has played a vital role in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of nations like India, Malasiya, Singapore, Thailand etc.
almost
Suggestion
Almost
 30% of India economy has been fuelled by the
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry. By
emergence
Suggestion
the emergence
 of
tourism
Use synonyms
 in numerous permanent and non permanent jobs were generated since, it helped in reducing the unemployment rate and the business opportunities are
also
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 towering high. So that the
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry is one of crucial factor that holding up the economical status of developing nations like India.
However
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has aided in
promotion
Suggestion
the promotion
 of
Use synonyms
culture
Suggestion
cultural
 exchange because it helps in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
relation
Suggestion
relationships
 between individuals from different
culture
Use synonyms
 and tradition.
For instance
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 was really beneficial for the spread of English language among the Asian countries. As a matter of fact, in Kerala our major source of revenue is from
Use synonyms
tourism industry
Suggestion
the tourism industry
 and we are so blessed with scenic beauty and it attracts the tourist all around the world. We consider our guest as god and so we try to adopt with their
culture
Use synonyms
 too
Thus
Linking Words
, currently we are following a mixed
culture
Use synonyms
 in our society including food, dressing pattern etc. To recapitulate,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has a prospective approach towards both individual and society.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
, pollution and over exploitation of our green earth is on
other hand
Suggestion
the other hand
. So I believe a balance approach should be taken in consideration,
tourism
Use synonyms
 with harming the environment.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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