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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#trips #children #country #travel #school #modes #transport #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart depicts how many
trips
Use synonyms
made
Add a missing verb
were made
show examples
 by
children
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 of
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 band between 5 and 12 for the years 1990 and 2010 using various ways of
transport
Use synonyms
 to travel to and from school in a country. At the beginning of the period,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car pooling
Correct your spelling
carpooling
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 was the least preferred
mode
Use synonyms
 of
transport
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 compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
walking which is the most significant among
children
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, car passenger was the most used choice among them
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
mode
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 of cycling was the least used in the same
year
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that is
Linking Words
 2010.
Initially
Linking Words
, the walking
mode
Use synonyms
 was very popular in the
year
Use synonyms
 1990 but it drastically decreased to 6
trips
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of 1990's
trips
Use synonyms
. The
mode
Use synonyms
 of both walking and buses was almost 6 for initial but reduced the 3
trips
Use synonyms
 per
year
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, In 1990,
children
Use synonyms
 used cycling and bus as
type
Add an article
a type
the type
show examples
 of
transport
Use synonyms
 with nearly 7
trips
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 per
year
Use synonyms
, but it steadily reduced to almost 2
trips
Use synonyms
 in 2010 as compared to the previous
year
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, In 1990,
children
Use synonyms
 used cycling and bus as
type
Add an article
a type
the type
show examples
 of
transport
Use synonyms
 with nearly 7
trips
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
, but it steadily reduced to almost 2
trips
Use synonyms
 in 2010 as compared to the previous
year
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words trips, children, transport, mode, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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