IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that universities are producing more graduates than is needed, and that less emphasis should be placed on university education. Others are of a different opinion. Discuss both views and include your opinion.

#people #universities #graduates #emphasis #university #education
As the world develops, the opportunity to achieve tertiary
education
 is becoming more widespread.
This
 has led many to question that whether the increasing number of graduates is a positive trend.
However
, some folks believe that universities do more than simply providing employment opportunities. In my opinion, I agree with the view of taking higher
education
 for the holistic development of the individual. To embark with, many people feel that the proliferating number of
university
 graduates nowadays causes more harm than benefit.
For example
, most of the engineering graduates in India have to wait for the employment because there is a bottle neck competition to grab a good job position in the engineering domain. Despite
this
, there are more job options available in other fields.
This
 example shows a disparity
that is
 common in every part of the world and makes it clear that achieving higher
education
 is a precursor to unemployment.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
 Some set of people believe that
university
education
 plays a vital role in the life of an individual. Higher
education
 helps the student to tap their hidden potential and opens numerous gateways of opportunities.
For instance
, a study by Oxford
university
 has proved that 60% of the
university
 student acquire multi talented skills.
In addition
 to
this
, the tertiary
education
 strengthens the analytical and logical skills of the student and make them ready to combat any challenges in their life.
Therefore
, the
university
 should focus more on imparting
education
. In conclusion, I assert that higher
education
 is important for the overall development of the individual.
However
, universities should upgrade their curriculum regularly based on the market demand and organise awareness campaigns to educate students about various fields of studies to gather multiple skills.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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