People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focussing on physical appearance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #amounts #time #money #clothes #hairstyles #change #appearance #consequences

People around the world are very concerned about their looks and they are spending countless

money time

Accept comma addition

money, time

and efforts to changing

outfit

Suggestion

outfits

, hairstyle and make up to looks them better.

This

essay will discuss about the importance of the persons look and the related effect on the body

appearance

of the people. From ancient time beauty are more discussed issues among women or men all over the world. There are many reasons why people are too much aware about their looks.

Firstly

Good physical

Suggestion

the Good physical appearance

appearance

has great impact on the future career.

For example

: Many jobs

such

as Air hostage or receptionist jobs are required good looks.

In addition

, some people found that to get a good alliance or to make a relationship, people always search for physical

appearance

. So looking good is a vital key to secure better career or choice of the life partner. People are spending huge amount of money on their makeover. But what they are doing in terms of changing their

appearance

Firstly

, to changing their looks they are using lots of chemical products, which have enormous bad effect on the skin.

For example

: continuously using of those chemical products can lead to skin cancer.

On the other hand

, Because of the unplanned diet most of the people are inviting various types of diseases

such

as kidney

falling

below acceptable in performance

failing

, dehydration and many more. Statistics

shows

Suggestion

show

that 80% of the people are suffering from various types of diseases. So people have to pay lots if they only concern about their looks rather than physic. In conclusion, changing the

appearance

is important in many

respects but

Accept comma addition

respects, but

people have to concentrate on their physical

appearance

as well. So people should have spent money to buy quality product which will take care of both beauty and body.

Submitted by sheemiin.rose on Mon Nov 25 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Aesthetic appeal
Body image
Consumer culture
Grooming habits
Personal identity
Professional demeanor
Psychological well-being
Self-esteem
Social comparison
Societal standards

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Taking professional and personal risks is quite necessary for many individuals. I firmly believe that the profits of being risky such as success and an interesting life outweigh any drawbacks.

Many people believe that having fixed punishments for all crimes is more efficient way to deal with crime. whats your opinion?.

Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?

Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, people are getting greedy and selfish. Some people argue that we should go back to the old days and show respect for the family and community so that we can make the world a better place to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?