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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some psychologists recommend that to overcome stresses in daily life we should do nothing at all for a period of time of the day. Do you agree or disagree?

#psychologists #stresses #life #period #time
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Due to the
work
 pressure, people have to suffer to
strain
 every
day
. To overcome
this
, some psychologists suggest avoiding activity during
particular time
Suggestion
particular times
a particular time
 of the
day
. I am in discord with
this
 statement and believe that physical
exercise
 and social gathering will relief from
stress
.
To begin
 with, physical
exercise
 keeps body fit and reduces
strain
. After passing hectic
day
 in
office
, people usually feel bored and stressed. For which people need
exercise
. As
exercise
increase
Suggestion
increases
 the blood flow though the body and eventually mitigate the blood
strain
, and
ultimately
Suggestion
ultimate
 metal
strain
.
Recent survey
Suggestion
A recent survey
Recent surveys
The recent survey
 carried out by
University
Suggestion
the University
 of Oxford plays a good example here, study shows that 80% people feel exhausted and
stress
 after
work
, and physical
exercise
,
for instance
, cycling reduces stain up to 65% based on ages and make rejuvenate themselves for
next
Suggestion
the next day work
day
work
.
Therefore
, daily workout is mandatory to reduce
stain
Suggestion
staining
.
Moreover
, social gathering reduces the
stress
 people having due to longtime
work
. Thousands of people are working in
office
 even after their normal
work
 hour. Resulting in, more
stress
in
Suggestion
on
 employee mentally and physically. When people get back to
home
 without spending some time meeting up friends feel even
worst
Suggestion
worse
 after arriving
home
. Things make worst when they spend after-
office
 alone
in
Suggestion
at
home
.
Report
Suggestion
The report
, published by
Human right watch
Suggestion
the Human right watch
, shows that 25% like to stay at
home
 alone after
work
 to reduce
stress
 and ultimately, they feel
for
Suggestion
from
stress
 because they
can not
can not
cannot
 distract from
office
work
.
On the other hand
, study tables that social gathering after
office
 make people out of thinking about
work
 make them feel better and they concentrate more in
work
 later on. So, meeting up friends reduce
work
 related
stress
. To sum up, while it looks that spending time
along
without any others being included or involved
alone
 at
home
 without doing anything can seemingly understand feel better, but it makes more engage with
work
-related thinking resulting in more
stress
. Local communities and government
should create
Accept comma addition
should, create
 social gathering intermittently to keep up fit their human resource.
Submitted by masud.hsa2017 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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