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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion

We can coin the term globalisation as a process of integration and interaction among
people
Use synonyms
, companies and governments worldwide. It is always a serious topic
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 one can evidently see its impact in
this
Linking Words
 modern era.
Although
Linking Words
 there are both advantages and disadvantages of
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 the benefits overshadow the drawbacks. When science and technology started progressing tremendously, it made one’s life easier by easing communication with different
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
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 distant locations worldwide.
People
Use synonyms
 have started
a
Correct article usage
apply
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 in different locations
of
Change preposition
around
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 the world, providing more employment opportunities in foreign countries. We can see Silicon Valley as the global centre for technology, innovation and social media and
hi-tech
Use the right word
high-tech
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 business area. Many students are travelling overseas for higher studies, which
facilitates
Verb problem
enables
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 them to deepen their knowledge in their areas of
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we are witnessing the digital revolution in
this
Linking Words
 global era.
People
Use synonyms
 started using digital currency as another means of trading.
In addition
Linking Words
, tourism is helping many countries to grow economically and is allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to spread their culture and language in many remote places as well.
However
Linking Words
, one cannot deny the fact that globalisation is
also
Linking Words
 causing serious threats to life. There is an increased risk
in
Change preposition
of
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 the
spreading
Replace the word
spread
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 of unknown diseases when more
people
Use synonyms
 start to travel across the globe.
Also
Linking Words
, unemployment can be seen increasing in their own country, as business
people
Use synonyms
 started outsourcing
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 for cheaper rates to foreign
people
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, globalisation will be an impediment to
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, only if it stops providing opportunities for native
people
Use synonyms
 and
neglecting
Wrong verb form
neglects
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 the negative impacts of technology and
using
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 it in the wrong way.

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tip
Plan first. Write 2 main ideas for both sides, then give your view.
structure
Use simple linking words to show how ideas fit. For example: also, but, however, for example, so.
content
Add more detail to each point. Explain why the point matters or how it affects people.
grammar
Check small grammar: subject and verb, and use 'globalisation' or 'globalization' consistently.
task
Clear stance and a view on the topic.
lexical
Good use of real examples like Silicon Valley and travel for study.
structure
Intro and conclusion show the plan and final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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