5.Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

#experts #people #exercise #time #friends #loneliness #health

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Older

people

were healthier and

happy

Replace the word

happier

show examples

in the old times, but now the situation has changed the reverse. There are several reasons behind

this

which will be highlighted below,

along with

their solutions. At the start, there

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

a shift of technology from the older to the newer advanced lap. Things shifted to automation slowly and made our culture a high-tech society, which changed the habits of almost the majority of the population. Now, everyone has a cell phone, on which they can access anything possible in the world and their interaction with other

people

is lessened.

Moreover

people

become materialized and self-centred, and they do not want to give any care to

others

In contrast

, there are some remedies to get the

surrounding

Replace the word

surroundings

show examples

back to

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

old times.

Firstly

, there is a strong need for motivation and commitment to bring attention to the matter of socialism and give space to

others

. In order to achieve

this

, a passionate campaign and counselling sessions are desired to be implemented, so its message

reached

Wrong verb form

reaches

show examples

all the

people

Secondly

, individuals are needed to remain attentive, and kind to take care of each other.

Thirdly

, elders of

this

time have to change their habits and need to adopt healthy habits, like they have to go for morning walks and they may

also

go for jogging at their convenience. During those intervals, they can chat, and communicate with

others

for sharing

Change preposition

to share

show examples

their views on several matters.

To sum up

, by adjusting to the solutions they could achieve their vulnerable health and happiness by sharing their emotions with

others

Submitted by kash.omer32 on Sun Aug 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion. The argument is also logically structured. However, transitioning between thoughts and ideas could have been smoother for better coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task with clear comprehension and relevant examples. However, the ideas could be more elaborate and examples more diverse for a higher score.

lexical resource

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary. But a richer lexical resource, more synonyms, and less repetition would have improved the quality of the writing.

grammatical range

While a range of complex structures were used, it can be improved further with more variety and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Happiness
Health
Exercise
Spending time
Loneliness
Health problems
Causes
Solutions
Lifestyle
Priorities
Social interaction
Physical activity
Advancements in technology
Promote
Engaging
Opportunities
Awareness
Family
Community

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5.Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and personal life, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

A teacher's duty is to teach, not to be a parent. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Where does the role of the parent finish and that of the teacher begin?

In the first most working people had went only one job why but now it is more and more people are having more than one job at a same time what is the reason for this development what are the advantage and disadvantage of having more than one job?