5.Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?
Older
people
were healthier and happy
in the old times, but now the situation has changed the reverse. There are several reasons behind Replace the word
happier
this
which will be highlighted below, along with
their solutions.
At the start, there is
a shift of technology from the older to the newer advanced lap. Things shifted to automation slowly and made our culture a high-tech society, which changed the habits of almost the majority of the population. Now, everyone has a cell phone, on which they can access anything possible in the world and their interaction with other Wrong verb form
was
people
is lessened. Moreover
, people
become materialized and self-centred, and they do not want to give any care to others
.
In contrast
, there are some remedies to get the surrounding
back to Replace the word
surroundings
its
old times. Correct pronoun usage
their
Firstly
, there is a strong need for motivation and commitment to bring attention to the matter of socialism and give space to others
. In order to achieve this
, a passionate campaign and counselling sessions are desired to be implemented, so its message reached
all the Wrong verb form
reaches
people
. Secondly
, individuals are needed to remain attentive, and kind to take care of each other. Thirdly
, elders of this
time have to change their habits and need to adopt healthy habits, like they have to go for morning walks and they may also
go for jogging at their convenience. During those intervals, they can chat, and communicate with others
for sharing
their views on several matters.
Change preposition
to share
To sum up
, by adjusting to the solutions they could achieve their vulnerable health and happiness by sharing their emotions with others
.Submitted by kash.omer32 on
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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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