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Writing Samples
Band 6

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries in 1999 and 2004.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries in 1999 and 2004.
#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
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The tables illustrate the data about the trading of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
bananas
Use synonyms
 at Fairtrade-labelled in five European countries during 1999 and 2004 in millions of
euros
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
 the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 are made in
Switzerland
Use synonyms
, but eventually
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had more
sales
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bananas
Use synonyms
 vending was high in
Switzerland
Use synonyms
 for the given years.
The
Correct article usage
Coffee
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in the UK
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 1.5
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 in 1999, but by 2004
this
Linking Words
 has reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in
Switzerland
Use synonyms
 and Denmark, the
sales
Use synonyms
 accounts
3
Change preposition
for 3
show examples
and 1.8
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
 in 1999,
while
Linking Words
 in 2004
this
Linking Words
 was 6 and 2
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Belgium and Sweden sold 1 and 0.8
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 were 1.7 and 1
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
bananas
Change the noun form
banana
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 in
Switzerland
Use synonyms
 in 1999 and 2004 were 15 and 47
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in the UK
this
Linking Words
 was 1 and increased gradually to 5.5
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, in 1999, Belgium and Sweden
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
traded 0.6 and 1.8
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
, and eventually
this
Linking Words
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached 4 and just 1
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Denmark, 2
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 are sold
initially
Linking Words
, but in 2004
this
Linking Words
 decreased to 0.9
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, initially, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, bananas, euros, sales, switzerland, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
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