In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Nowadays, there have been a growing number of crimes in many developed countries.

Although

crimes take place due to various reasons, one noticeable factor is that people are not happy with their current lives.

This

essay will discuss the reason in detail and suggest some solutions to deal with the issue. Most of all, one major reason of their dissatisfaction comes from unequal opportunities for wealth in our society.

In other words

, as our society becomes more and more industrialised and commercialised, the wealth gap between the rich and the poor is widening. If you are from

rich family

Suggestion

a rich family

, you can enjoy comfortable and abundant lives with enough money, whereas poor family will experience harder lives. So, if people realize that it will be difficult to avoid their poverty even though they strive to work hard,

then

they may easily fall into crimes to express their anger and

pains

Suggestion

pain

On the other hand

, there are some ways to solve

this

problem.

Firstly

government

Suggestion

the government

should try to distribute the wealth to everyone equally. Even though

this

is not

easy task

Suggestion

an easy task

to achieve, but the government should get rid of some regulations and rules that threaten poor people. Giving equal opportunity to every single person can prevent people from making

wrong decision

Suggestion

the wrong decision

wrong decisions

a wrong decision

. Equal employment and educational chances can make people happier in their daily lives.

Moreover

, the state should give people to receive equal chances for medical service and welfare pension so that they can maintain basic living condition. In Conclusion, unequal economic and welfare opportunity seems to be the main reason of increasing crimes. The government should work harder to create a peaceful

society which all

Suggestion

society in which all

people are treated fairly based on their effort and contribution.

Submitted by kyungjojung on Thu Nov 28 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic disparity
propensity
recidivism
deterrent
rehabilitative
judicial system
corruption
socioeconomic
alienation
stigmatization
decriminalization
enforcement
gentrification
preemptive measures
intervention strategies

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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many country average weight of the people increasing and fitness levels are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken solve them?

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many teenagers now have their smart phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion?

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.