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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents
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Obesity
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 is one of the common issues found among children these days. Both
government
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 and parents play a role in giving importance to foods causing
obesity
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 among children but more weight will towards parents. In the following paragraphs, We will discuss how
government
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 and parents are responsible for a rise in
obesity
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 among children. According to some people, the
Government
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 is responsible for increasing
obesity
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 among children. The
government
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 can take relevant steps like increasing taxes on foods causing
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obesity so
Suggestion
obesity, so
 fewer children can eat resulting reduction in
obesity
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.
For example
Linking Words
, In America usually fast foods are very expensive due to high taxes and healthy foods are inexpensive due to low taxes encouraging children to eat healthy food resulting in improved health. Some people think that parents are solely responsible for the
obesity
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 of a child. Parents are among the pioneer in building any child habits from early ages so if parents encourage habits of eating healthy
food
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food, then
then
Linking Words
 why a child will go for
obesity
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 causing foods.
For example
Linking Words
, In Netherland, Parents are so conscious about their children
obesity
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 and other health issues that children are not allowed to go restaurant without their parents until a certain age. To sum up, Parents and the
government
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 are responsible for the rise of
obesity
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 in children at some stages. But due to more involvement of parents in any
children's
Suggestion
child's
 life, they become more responsible
to
Suggestion
for
 the rise of
obesity
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 like issues. Now, it is up to the parent or
government
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 that to which cause they
deviate
give entirely to a specific person, activity, or cause
devote
 more.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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