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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reason for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people #reason
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Walking is one of the beneficial exercise for any person due to its many
effect
Suggestion
effects
 on an individual
health
Use synonyms
. There are many reasons people are not following
health
Use synonyms
practice
Use synonyms
 like walking resulting obesity and other diseases. In the following paragraphs, we will discuss
this
Linking Words
 problem and how to tackle
this
Linking Words
 effectively. Nowadays, people do barely walking due to social media and other distractions. With the advancement in technology, There are many things to involve in
to kill
Suggestion
killing
 the time and to get engaged like watching TV shows, talking to the friend and playing online games with the friend.
For example
Linking Words
, with the introduction of online game PUBG, people tend to play games whole day and night avoiding doing any exercise like walking. The unhealthy
practice
Use synonyms
 can be avoided by promoting
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
 of healthy
practice
Use synonyms
. A government should promote
health
Use synonyms
 benefits like weight loss,
diseases
Suggestion
disease
 prevention and to increase the span of life through different mediums like television, newspaper and social
media resulting
Accept comma addition
media, resulting
 increase in awareness of benefits of exercises like walking among
people
Suggestion
the people
.
For example
Linking Words
, In Pakistan, there is healthy
food
Use synonyms
 related program being aired daily on
government channel
Suggestion
the government channel
 on television to promote the benefits of healthy
food
Use synonyms
 and to differentiate between the healthy and unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
. To sum up, Walking is one of the beneficial
activity
Suggestion
activities
 for
Use synonyms
health but
Accept comma addition
health, but
 due to many distractions these days people are diverting from following these healthy habits. Different governments are trying their best towards reducing the consumption of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it
is solely depend
Suggestion
is solely depending
solely depends
 on the person either he
follow
Suggestion
follows
healthy
Suggestion
the healthy practice
practice
Use synonyms
 or unhealthy
practice
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by danish-madni on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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