IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

GOVERNMENT PROHIBITING THE UNDERAGE CHILDREN FOR GETTING FULL TIME JOBS IN CERTAIN COUNTRIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#government #children #time #jobs #countries
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IMPLEMENTATION OF
CHILD
Use synonyms
 LABOUR ACT IN MANY COUNTRIES HAS PUT A LIMIT ON THE WORKING HOURS OF EMPLOYEES WHO FALL IN THE AGE GROUP OF 15-18 YEARS AND COMPLETELY BANNED THE SAME FOR THOSE UNDER 15. I AM COMPLETELY AREE WITH
THIS
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 LEGISLATION. I WILL,
HOWEVER
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, SUGGEST SOME SOLUTIONS WHICH WILL SUPPORT TEENAGERS AND THEIR FAMILY FOR THEIR EASY SURVIVAL AND PREVENT THEM FROM DOING ANY KIND OF LABOUR. TO EMBARK ON, ADMITTEDLY, EMPLOYMENT IS AN INDESPENSABLE PART OF HUMAN LIFE.
HOWEVER
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, EARLY
CHILDHOOD
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 JOB IS ONE OF THE STUMBLING BLOCK IN THE PROGRESSION OF AN ADOLESCENT. IF GOVERNMENT DONOT RESTRICT THE JOB HOURS OF CHILDREN, THEY WILL PLACE STUDY AT SECONDARY PRIORITY
.
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.
CONSEQUENTLY
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, STUDIES GET SUFFERED A LOT. INDULGING INTO NUISANCE COMPANY IS ANOTHER THREAT
,
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,
 WHICH THEY ARE PRONE TO AT WORK, WHERE THEY COME ACROSS VARIETY OF PEOPLE
,
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,
 AND IMMATURITY AT
SUCH
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 AN EARLY STAGE OF LIFE
,
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,
AS A RESULT
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, DISABLE THEM TO INFER THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG. TO EXEMPLIFY, AS PER THE SURVEY CONDUCTED BY
CHILD
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 DEVELOPMENT AGENCY OF ENGLAND IN 2017, 50% OF THE CHILDREN WORLDWIDE IN THE CHILDREN IMPRISONMENT ARE THOSE WHO LEFT THEIR STUDIES AND GET INFLUENCED BY BAD COMPANY AT WORK. PROBING
FURTHER
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, I WILL SUGGEST SOME PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO OVERCOME THE EFFECTS OF
CHILD
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 LABOUR. USUALLY, WORKING IN
CHILDHOOD
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 IS CHOOSEN NOT BY CHOISE
,
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,
NONETHELESS
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, ITS THE CIRCUMSTANCES LIKE POVERTY AND FAMILY RESPONSIBILITES, WHICH FORCES AN INDIVIDUAL TO WORK IN THE AGE WHEN SAME AGEMATES ENJOY THEIR
CHILDHOOD
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. TO HALT THESE PROBLEMS, GOVERNMENT SHOULD HOLD THE HAND OF ITS COUNTRYMEN BY PROVIDING THEM PLETHORA OF FACILITIES
SUCH
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 AS FREE EDUCATION TILL UNIVERSITY LEVEL TO ALL, SUPPORING PEOPLE TO RUN THEIR LIVELIHOOD BY PROVIDING THEM BASIC NESESSASITIES OF LIFE
SUCH
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 AS FOOD, SHELTER AND CLOTHING. APART FROM THAT, EMPLOYEMENT OPPORTUNITIES TO BE GIVEN TO SINGLE MOTHER OR FATHER, SO THAT THEY CAN RUN THEIR HOUSE SMOOTHLY WITHOUT BEING LETTING THEIR
CHILD
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 TO GO FOR WORK. LOOKING AT THE DELIBERAITONS, IT CAN BE CATEGORICALLY ESTABLISHED THAT THE DECISION OF THE GOVERNMENT TOWARDS REFRAINING THE
CHILDHOOD
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 JOB IS A GREAT EFFORT PROVIDED THEY SHOULD
ALSO
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 THINK ABOUT THE OTHER ALTERNATIVES WHICH CAN BE PROVIDED TO THE PUBLIC.
Submitted by tarnjitmusic on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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