More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that the

government

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should make significant investments in the local

movie

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industry

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, shifting people's attention from international

movies

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to domestic films. I partially agree with

this

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assertion.

Firstly

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, the advancement of the domestic film

industry

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is conducive to the development of one

country

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’s economy.

In other words

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, the progress of the local

movie

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industry

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can be helpful in promoting one’s

country

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For instance

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, “Parasite”, which is one of the most successful

movies

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in South

Korea

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, is a representative example. In the past, South

Korea

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was not famous for the

movie

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industry

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. People used to watch international

movies

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such

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as Marvel, Sony and so on.

However

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, after the success of “Parasite” all over the world, people started to have an interest in domestic

movies

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Additionally

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, it became a good chance for South

Korea

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to promote the

country

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. The artistic

industry

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has the power to advertise their own

country

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either.

Therefore

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, the

government

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could advertise South

Korea

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without promoting the

country

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to foreign countries thanks to the widespread success of local

movies

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Nevertheless

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, it is hard for the authority to invest solely in developing local

movies

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. If the

government

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wants to invest, they have to use the

country

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’s tax revenue.

However

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, it is impossible for them to allocate strictly large portions to local films because they have been tasked to invest not only in the

movie

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industry

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but

also

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in other sectors

such

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as welfare, infrastructure and more.

In addition

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, the

government

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’s huge investment in domestic

movies

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does not guarantee the success of the film

industry

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This

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can provide the authority pressure with the loss of money and energy. In conclusion, I think the

government

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has to determine how much they will invest in their local film

industry

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according to

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their situation. If the priority is not the

movie

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, they can focus on investing in other industries.

However

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, if they have enough money or time to invest, it will be a good opportunity to advertise their

country

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all over the world through

movies

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dmdql2708Sun Mar 31 2024

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Language Use

To further enhance your essay, consider adding more varied sentence structures and vocabulary related to the topic. This will enhance the readability and engagement of your argument.

Examples

While your examples are relevant, adding more specific data or studies could strengthen your argument. Consider incorporating statistics, studies, or real-world examples to emphasize your points.

Task Response

It's beneficial to explicitly state your viewpoint in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for clarity and impact. Making your position clear from the outset will guide the reader through your argument.

Structure

The essay presents a well-structured argument, effectively using paragraphs to delineate your introduction, body, and conclusion.

Examples

You have made good use of an example ('Parasite') to support your argument, which helps illustrate your point effectively.

Conclusion

Your conclusion provides a balanced view, summarizing your argument well and suggesting a nuanced approach to government investment in the film industry.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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