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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than work together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #work #everyone’s
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Most of the pupils are educated that the positive aspects of the competition are much more than the working together. In my opinion, I consider that a key to become successful in life is to learn about working as a team member in lieu of becoming a competitor. Admittedly, there are several positives in getting knowledge about the spirit of the competition. To commence, it is the best way to develop the quality of hard working with individuals, to become better than others.
For instance
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, if there is only one top position in the class, the students will push themselves hard to gain that prestigious position.
Moreover
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,
this
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 might prove as a key to become a successful person in the career after the academic life.
Therefore
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, it can be argued that in order to achieve success, it might be beneficial to have a deep understanding of how to become at the top in every field of life.
Nonetheless
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, despite the advantages mentioned above, I believe that the upside of the learning to behave as a group member is definitely much more advantageous than the winning. One of the main reasons is that it instills the importance of being helpful to others. In fact, it is the most crucial ingredient required to develop a harmony in the society. Another obvious reason is the development of effective communication skills in people, which they only get after performing different tasks together.
Thus
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, it is completely clear that understanding the positive aspects of performing as a group mate is essential for not only the individual but
also
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 for the whole community to behave well. In conclusion, it seems that there is a both upside and downside of
this
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 phenomenon, I argue that the advantages of giving preference to act in a group undoubtedly outweigh the benefits of looking for the competition.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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