IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#country #population #mixture #nationalities
Today
,
Accept space
,
 many people believe that a
mixture
 of nationalities
,
Accept space
,
or multi-culturalism
,
Accept space
,
could help a
country
 to become more attractive and develop faster. In my personal view, multi-
culturalism
 could create many advantages to a
country
’s development.
This
 essay will examine why a
mixture
 of nationalities is important and conclude my personal idea. There are several obvious benefits from a
mixture
 of nationalities to the development of a
city
.
First
 of all, the increasing economy and business of the
country
, when many people from different cultures and nations live together,
this
 could create a
diverse
Suggestion
diversity
 of activities and characters in a single place, which might attract many tourists into the
city
. An increasing number of tourists could develop the tourism business and other related businesses,
this
 would lead to a rise in economic growth and many developments for citizens and the
city
 in the future. Despite, increasing tourism, it
also
 helps to create new innovations and technologies because the many different nationalities have different cultures and backgrounds, and these different cultures and different knowledge can be exchanged.
This
 “cross-culture” might
leadto
Suggestion
lead to
 the
creationof
Suggestion
creation of
 new innovations and provide benefit to the people of the
city
.
This
 example can be seen in America, where many innovations and technology have been developed from multi-
culturalismand
 a mix of nationalities. In conclusion, there are many discussions about whether a
mixture
 of nationalities could help a
country
 to become more interesting and
developfaster
Suggestion
develop faster
. In my opinion, if a
country
 promotes diversity in
cultureand
Suggestion
culture and
 nations,
this
 could create many benefits to the economy and innovations which could
helpacountry
 to develop faster in the

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: