Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leiure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#forms #leiure #activity #countries #adults #development

Leiure

the hero of William Shakespeare's tragedy who was betrayed and mistreated by two of his scheming daughters

Lear

lair

leisure

is the free

time

that they can use to

rejuvanate

cause (a stream or river) to erode, as by an uplift of the land

rejuvenate

and relax. Nowadays, young adults have been shopping very often. It is

also

seen that they go for shopping as a

leiure

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

activity rather than choosing a hobby for themselves,

however some

Accept comma addition

however, some

people might look at

this

sitiation

the general state of things; the combination of circumstances at a given time

situation

as a

development

Suggestion

developer

but I think

this

is a

negavtive

characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features

negative

development

due to various reasons.

Firstly

, young adults can use the shopping

time

to develop a new skill or spend the

leiure

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

time

by involving themselves into a new hobby.

Secondly

leiure

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

time

is for relaxation and shopping activity can

also

be stressful as

most young

Suggestion

younger

adults are

influnced

a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc

influenced

by social media and they are under immense pressure to maintain their image in a certain way on social media and

also

in front of their friends for which they require to shop certain brands.

For instance

, My client only carries LV bags when she goes out with her friends to show that she can afford expensive bags, but she has to work really hard to make a lot of money to shop for one LV bag.

However

, she does not show her struggle and stress to her friends and shopping is a stressful process for her.

Lastly

, Shopping is a part of one

persons

Suggestion

person's

life and not the whole life, It can be relaxing for some

people whereas

Accept comma addition

people, whereas

stressful process for some,

therefore

young adults can define their life and create

seperate

act as a barrier between; stand between

separate

time

for shopping and

leiure

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

based on their own personal

preferrance

a strong liking

preference

preferences

. Many people might think that it is a

postive

characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.

positive

development

as it adds on to the Country's economy,

nevertheless

it is

also

creating a psychological impact on young adults if they

can not

cannot

understand the difference between

leiure

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

time

and shopping

time

and getting blindly influenced by social media

influencers

. In conclusion, I would say that there must be clarity between how to spend

leiure

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

time

and shopping

time

however it

Accept comma addition

however, it

is a very personal choice as it can be relaxing for some young adults to shop. I believe that it is a negative

development

and young adults might go through various psychological issues due to increasing stress of shopping and not using the

leiure

time available for ease and relaxation

leisure

earlier

time

appropriately.

Fri Nov 29 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leiure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Giving detailed information of crime in newspapers and on television has bad consequences. Some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?