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Band 5

Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with?

#people #university #students #classes #point
There is a strong opinion that
students
 must
visit
Verb problem
attend
show examples
 lessons at university or school, which is being questioned by other
people
 who
sure
Add a missing verb
are sure
show examples
 that it should be an optional choice. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
students
 have to go to university in order to attend classes. I feel
this
 way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
Firstly
, I strongly believe that it is a great opportunity to gain knowledge. One should note here that professors and lecturers explain new topics
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
 very
accurate
Change the word
accurately
show examples
 and it allows them to convey only the most important information.
Consequently
, listeners are able to understand the main ideas and processes that are explained and obtain benefits from
this
. What is more,
this
 way allows
students
interact
Fix the infinitive
to interact
show examples
 with teachers, so they can receive an immediate answer
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a question which will be able to clarify some vague aspects of a problem.
Finally
, teens can be taught how to face and solve problems at work in their future lives.
Secondly
, the other marked advantage is developing in communication skills. There is no doubt that nowadays a lot of employees work in teams or order to do their job better.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 great example of
such
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 is a software-developing firm. Teams there consist of different
people
 with various skills that devise a particular project together. At universities boys and girls do the same things.
For instance
, some subjects at higher schools include group assignments that force
people
 to work together and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
find solutions to problems and ways to avoid conflicts.
As a result
, communication abilities become better, they broaden
people
’s minds and teach how to speak and build speeches correctly. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
very important for
students
 to attend classes at universities.
This
 is because there they obtain valuable knowledge and skills for their future specialities.

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task achievement
Work on providing more varied examples to strengthen your argument. Examples should be more specific and detailed to enhance relevance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on a single main idea to improve coherence. Avoid mixing multiple points in one paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.
task achievement
You have presented a complete response to the question, addressing both sides of the argument.

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