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Band 7

It is sometimes suggested that primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

#school #children #vegetables #animals #advantage #outweigh
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People have different views on whether schoolchildren should be taught how to cultivate
plants
 and raise
animals
.
While
 there are certain benefits and concerns associated with
this
 practice, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Learning about
plants
 and
animals
 from an early age provides children with valuable opportunities,
such
 as gaining practical experience and developing a sense of care. When children engage in growing
plants
, they acquire experience with nature, which can be beneficial in their future lives. Another advantage is that it fosters a sense of responsibility and care. As children spend time with
plants
 and
animals
, they learn how to care for them,
such
 as through watering and feeding, which helps them develop essential caring skills.
However
, one disadvantage is that these activities might divert attention from important subjects
such
 as math, history, and physics.
This
 shift in focus could lead to poorer academic performance, negatively affecting their future education.
Consequently
, schools have traditionally not prioritized activities related to
animals
 and
plants
. Despite these disadvantages, I believe the positive aspects are more significant. Mental fatigue is a common issue among students, and engaging in natural activities can help alleviate
this
. By spending time in nature, students can relieve the stress and tension accumulated during lessons, allowing them to return to their studies with a refreshed mind, meaning that it provides
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 understanding
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lesson In conclusion,
although
 the disadvantages may seem considerable, I believe the advantages offer invaluable benefits for students, both in their current academic performance and future education
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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, consider addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly and providing more concrete examples to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to vary the sentence structures more and use a wider range of linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported, making your argument strong and convincing.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensible, contributing to a very readable essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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