IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty percent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wild life round the world

#figures #show #wildlife #population #world #fifty #percent #years #life #round
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Wildlife
Use synonyms
 population is diminishing rapidly over the years, there are multiple reasons for
this
Linking Words
 problem. In
this
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 essay we are going to explore the options to protect
wildlife
Use synonyms
 around the world. One of the key
factor
Suggestion
factors
 responsible for
decrease
Suggestion
a decrease
the decrease
 in
wildlife
Use synonyms
 is killing of animals for their organs. We are always
facinated
having your attention fixated as though by a spell
fascinated
 to use products that are manufactured
with
Suggestion
by
in
 the skin of
animals some
Accept comma addition
animals, some
 even consider
this
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 as a sign of prestige.
However
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,
This
Linking Words
 results in killing of many animals for manufacturing these products. For an instance in
Linking Words
last year
Suggestion
the last year
 alone over 5000
eliphants
five-toed pachyderm
elephants
 were killed for their teeth. The
second
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 most common factor for decline in wild animals is trophy hunting, In some cultures killing lions and other wild animals is considered as achievements, And
finally
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 the ever expansion of urban areas
are killing
Suggestion
is killing
has killed
 the
wild life
all living things (except people) that are undomesticated
wildlife
 as they have no other place to go. Protecting
wildlife
Use synonyms
 is one of the most challenging
task
Suggestion
tasks
 of current times.
Their
Suggestion
There
 are multiple ways to achieve these goals
Firstly
Linking Words
, Public authorities should create an enforce laws to ban usage of animal organs in manufacturing of products, And ensure the offenders are penalised.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Creating social awareness of
importance
Suggestion
the importance
 of
wildlife
Use synonyms
 to the ecosystem and showing how beautiful wild animals are using different forms of media
ie
Suggestion
IE
is
.
Telivisions
Suggestion
Televisions
Television
,
Websites etc.
Accept comma addition
Websites, etc.
Web sites etc.
Linking Words
Finally create
Accept comma addition
Finally, create
 a database of all living wild animals and keep track of
population
Suggestion
the population
 and take measures to increase population. To summarise, Rapid decrease in
wildlife
Use synonyms
 is a critical problem to the ecosystem and governments and people should take every
measures
Suggestion
measure
 they can to save
wildlife
Use synonyms
 around them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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