The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest

#amount #time #sport #exercise #school #children

Physical activities in the form of sports and exercise are essential for the well being of everyone. Some people claim that the schools should increase physical training to keep young students fit.

However

, I am of the opinion that along with the physical training like sport and exercise the

school

should

also

provide healthy

food

to curb the overweight issues in children. Children spend a major part of their time in schools,

therefore

some people claim that the schools

needs

Suggestion

need

to play a major role in the development of the child’s growth. In today’s world,

school

mostly concentrate

Suggestion

mostly concentrates

on the academic rather than the physical activities.

This

is because society regards success with good academic and not with physical fitness.

School

Suggestion

The school

should train children in various sport activities so that the children remain fit and active.

This

in turn not only develops the brain activity of the

children but

Accept comma addition

children, but

also

increases their fitness level.Incorporating physical exercise and various activities will definitely help the child to grow stronger.

However

, proper healthy

food

also

essential for his growth. In

today

Suggestion

today's

todays

modern lifestyle, children after

school

, either sits in front of the TV watching their favourite cartoon for hours or prefer eating

road side

edge of a way or road or path

roadside

fast

food

. Research has proved that fast

food

being unhealthy tends to slow down the

children

Suggestion

children's

activity by affecting the digestive system. Children

therefore

gain weight not only because of less physical

activities but

Accept comma addition

activities, but

also

because of

unhygienic

food

. To conclude,

school

Suggestion

the school

schools

should definitely have more of physical

activities but

Accept comma addition

activities, but

should

also

provide children with good and healthy

food

This

will improve the child’s development progress and in turn be active and fit.

Submitted by sndpfcsidhu on Sun Dec 01 2019

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
physical education
teamwork
discipline
nutrition education
healthy eating habits
balanced meals
junk food
parental involvement
community initiatives
fitness programs
government policies
subsidies
multi-dimensional approach

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The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.