IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Doctors should be responsible for educating their patient about improving their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this.

#doctors #patient #health
It is undeniable that doctor plays a vital role in the life of the patient. Some folks believe that it becomes the duty of the physician to aware his patient about the different ways of improvising their
health
 whereas some set of people disagree. In my opinion, I agree with the view that doctors should educate their patients.
However
, other medium
such
 as schools, the media and a lot more should
also
 be used to spread awareness of healthy living among the people. On one hand, undoubtedly doctors can provide the credible information to their patient based upon their higher education, knowledge and work experience. They can
also
 save their patients from the trap of the misleading information available online.
For example
, a survey performed by the
health
 department in London has proved that majority of the people completely rely on the information and follow the same routine as directed by the doctor to stay salubrious and agile.
In addition
 to
this
, working in hospital, clinics and more on the daily basis makes it much easier for physicians to help their patients instill the momentousness of a healthy living.
On the other hand
, schools should step forward to educate student about healthy lifestyle by introducing some
health
 care subjects in the school curriculum.
As a result
, students are likely to be conscious of taking care of themselves from an early age.
For instance
, the introduction of physical education in the academic syllabus helps the students to stay fit and away from doctors. Apart from
this
, more
health
 programs and podcast should be broadcast on national and global media, which results in raising awareness among the people and encourage them to stay fit and active. In conclusion, I assert that
although
 doctors are responsible to educate their patients, it has
also
 become the crucial ones of the school and media to aware people about the ways of living a salubrious life.
Submitted by joshi65201 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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