Nowadays individual take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his/her family?

#business #trip

The rise in world economics has led to numerous

business

owners travelling abroad for

business

trips

while

bringing their families with them.

Hence

, in

this

essay, I will discuss some benefits and drawbacks

this

phenomenon may bring to their family. Bringing family

members

on a

business

trip

may have some consequences

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they were done during school time. Parents who bring their children abroad when they are supposed to be at school may result in missed lessons, whi ch will impact their studies.

This

issue can be resolved by only bringing family

members

during specific times,

such

as school holidays.

Moreover

, having family

members

while

on a

business

trip

might cause some distraction to his/her

work

, as families will

also

possibly need attention;

whereas

Correct word choice

while

show examples

, on the

trip

On the other hand

, having family around during

work

can encourage the value of teamwork. Family

members

will be able to get to know about their jobs and how they can help support their

work

, which helps them learn about empathy.

Furthermore

business

owners who have children can implement some values,

such

as hard

work

and communication, during their

trip

. These values are what make a family stronger and with it comes great success.

To conclude

, there are several disadvantages of having family

members

while

going on a

business

trip

such

as it might affect their children's studies and the chances of having distractions.

Nevertheless

, these disadvantages are countered by the advantages as it creates a stronger bond between family

members

and teaches important values.

Submitted by kelly on Tue Jun 25 2024

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task response

To improve task response, ensure that both advantages and disadvantages are discussed with balanced detail and clear, relevant examples. Avoid leaving points incomplete, as in the unfinished sentence about missed lessons.

coherence and cohesion

For better coherence, build smoother transitions between the points and paragraphs. For instance, connect the introductory mention of economic rise more explicitly to the points discussed in the essay body.

coherence and cohesion

To strengthen cohesion, make sure each paragraph maintains a clear focus on a single idea. The paragraph discussing advantages and family values could offer specific scenarios and practical examples.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion, summarizing the points well.

task response

The idea of how family trips can foster teamwork and empathy is well-conceived and adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays individual take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his/her family?

Fully explain your ideas

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the academic success of students depends on good teachers at schools. Others think that it depends on the attitude and determination of the students. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.