Nowadays individual take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his/her family?
The rise in world economics has led to numerous
business
owners travelling abroad for business
trips while
bringing their families with them. Hence
, in this
essay, I will discuss some benefits and drawbacks this
phenomenon may bring to their family.
Bringing family members
on a business
trip
may have some consequences,
if they were done during school time. Parents who bring their children abroad when they are supposed to be at school may result in missed lessons, whi
ch will impact their studies. Remove the comma
apply
This
issue can be resolved by only bringing family members
during specific times, such
as school holidays. Moreover
, having family members
while
on a business
trip
might cause some distraction to his/her work
, as families will also
possibly need attention; whereas
, on the Correct word choice
while
trip
.
On the other hand
, having family around during work
can encourage the value of teamwork. Family members
will be able to get to know about their jobs and how they can help support their work
, which helps them learn about empathy. Furthermore
, business
owners who have children can implement some values, such
as hard work
and communication, during their trip
. These values are what make a family stronger and with it comes great success.
To conclude
, there are several disadvantages of having family members
while
going on a business
trip
, such
as it might affect their children's studies and the chances of having distractions. Nevertheless
, these disadvantages are countered by the advantages as it creates a stronger bond between family members
and teaches important values.Submitted by kelly on
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task response
To improve task response, ensure that both advantages and disadvantages are discussed with balanced detail and clear, relevant examples. Avoid leaving points incomplete, as in the unfinished sentence about missed lessons.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence, build smoother transitions between the points and paragraphs. For instance, connect the introductory mention of economic rise more explicitly to the points discussed in the essay body.
coherence and cohesion
To strengthen cohesion, make sure each paragraph maintains a clear focus on a single idea. The paragraph discussing advantages and family values could offer specific scenarios and practical examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion, summarizing the points well.
task response
The idea of how family trips can foster teamwork and empathy is well-conceived and adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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