some people thinks that development of technology is reducing crime while think that it encourages crime? discuss both the views.give your opinion?

It is often said that people in the

entertainment

industry mint money and they are loaded!

Although

we cannot generalise

this

for everyone who enters the business, it is arguably true. I believe there are several factors to advocate that they deserve what they earn.

Entertainment

is a very important part of our lives. In our day-to-day mundane routine, it is movies, music and sports that rescue us from the boredom and monotony. They inspire us, motivate us and it makes us hope for better by giving a vivid experience which is often larger than life, through films, songs, concerts and games.

However

, people who bring these stories to life, who put in months to connect the lyrics and pair it with the right notes and people who go through extreme training to bring out the best sport for us are often thought to be just ‘lucky’! I honestly believe that the people who strive to bring quality to our

entertainment

deserve to be paid well.

Besides

, usually careers of sportsmen, actresses or musicians

last

for a shorter span of time than that of teachers, doctors and engineers.

Thus

, if they earn more money for the risk they take, the amount of dedication they put, and the performance they show, seems quite justified to me. Having said that, I

also

think that there are few other professions other than film, music and sports industries in the realm of

entertainment

, should

also

be highly paid. People who devote their lives for their jobs, army officials,

for instance

, ought to be paid well as a small appreciation of what they do for the civilians.

Also

, jobs which involve a high level of responsibilities and pressure

also

deserve a

high

Suggestion

higher

pay. Professions like doctor, politics and teaching are the jobs that require people with high level of perception and proficiency.

Thus

to attract

such

talent to these jobs, it is important to pay them well. In conclusion, all the above points fortify my opinion that people in

entertainment

business receive a payment that they deserve.

Nonetheless

, other professions which involve high risk, responsibilities and skills, should

also

be paid

well so

Accept comma addition

well, so

as to attract and keep the required talent motivated enough to choose these fields as their possible career.

Submitted by rukmalweliwatta on Tue Dec 03 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

376 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people thinks that development of technology is reducing crime while think that it encourages crime? discuss both the views.give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

Some people think that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Z

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both views and give your own opinion.