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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the trend of
Add an article
an aging
the aging
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aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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population
Use synonyms
, specifically
people
Use synonyms
 who
65
Add a missing verb
are 65
show examples
 and above, from 1940 to 2040 in the
USA
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,
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 and
Japan
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the percentage of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 is predicted to
be increase
Change the verb form
increase
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 significantly over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time period.
Further
Linking Words
,
Japan
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 had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 less proportion of senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 in 1940 when compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 two countries,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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this
Linking Words
 pattern is forecasted to change in 2040 when
Japan
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 will be overtook the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, in 1940, around 10% of the total
population
Use synonyms
 in America consisted
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 65 years or more and
this
Linking Words
 was followed by
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
, at nearly 7.5% of the total and 5 % respectively. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, the percentage of the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated until around 1996 in
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 and the
USA
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 and
then
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 exceeded the
USA
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 in nearly 1997. Apart from the few expected fluctuation,
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 will be expected to have 25% of elderly
people
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 in 2040. Meanwhile,
Japan
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shown
Add the auxiliary verb
showed
has shown
show examples
 a minimal up and down, and plateau trend until 2000 and
thereafter
Linking Words
, the predicted proportion will be substantially climbed up and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just above 25% in 2040. The least number of
Add an article
the aging
an aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 will be in the
USA
Use synonyms
 in 2040 , at nearly 22%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, people, usa, swedan, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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