Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their and attention to studying for qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people often argue that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of higher Institutes should learn non-
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

areas as well other than their major field
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others argue that they should solely focus on their major. In my point of view, it is better to study other
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well because it helps
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb maintaining. Consider changing it.

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balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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mindset and ultimately, it improves the
knowledge
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, mental stability is one of the key
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors

The singular countable noun factor follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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for
University
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to concentrate on their work.
Keep focusing
Verb problem
Focusing

There may be a verb use issue here.

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on and learning the same principles and theories will lead to complete
Replace the word
exhaustion

The word exhausting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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exhausting
Replace the word
exhaustion

The word exhausting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and
consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will reduce the productivity and efficiency of pupils.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is necessary to move the mind
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a totally opposite activity in order to release
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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stress, especially for a different
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. After engaging with that for a couple of hours,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the student can come back to the usual stuff.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a recent study done by a group of
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists

It seems that scientist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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revealed that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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shuffling the different
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and learning had
significant
Add an article
a significant

The noun phrase significant impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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impact on the productivity of
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

compared with the ones who did the same task for the same period of time.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, learning about different areas rather than restricting to a certain
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, significantly Improve
knowledge
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which is essential for a
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

student. it is not necessary to go into deep but it is required to have a
surface level
Add a hyphen
surface-level

It seems that surface level is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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idea on different aspects. It has become apparent that, generally,
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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sees the undergraduates as a bunch of
knowledge
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and in social situations, if an undergraduate reflects a
knowledge
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

barrier, it is not good for the entire higher education system.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, one of the medical faculty
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of California had a chance to
exploring Egypt
Replace the word
explore the Egyptian

The word exploring Egypt doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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pyramids because of his great
knowledge
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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history though his major was medicine. in conclusion, some people say that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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academic
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should learn
other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun subject. Consider making a change.

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subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well apart from the major
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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others say that, they must learn only
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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required for their qualification.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
University
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must learn
other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun subject. Consider making a change.

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subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to their usual components because it helps to keep
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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mindset and it enhances the
knowledge
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well.

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task response
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your introduction should clearly outline the perspectives you will discuss as well as your own stance. Your conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your sentences flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words effectively to create cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
To develop your argument further, provide more detailed examples and explain how they support your point. This will help in making your response more complete and persuasive.
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