IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their and attention to studying for qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people often argue that
,
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apply
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students
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 of higher Institutes should learn non-
subject
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 areas as well other than their major field
while
Linking Words
 others argue that they should solely focus on their major. In my point of view, it is better to study other
subjects
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 as well because it helps
maintaining
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maintain
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balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 mindset and ultimately, it improves the
knowledge
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 of the
students
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.
To begin
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 with, mental stability is one of the key
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
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 for
University
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students
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 to concentrate on their work.
Keep focusing
Verb problem
Focusing
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 on and learning the same principles and theories will lead to complete
Replace the word
exhaustion
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exhausting
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exhaustion
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 and
consequently
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will reduce the productivity and efficiency of pupils.
Therefore
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, it is necessary to move the mind
for
Change preposition
to
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 a totally opposite activity in order to release
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stress, especially for a different
subject
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. After engaging with that for a couple of hours,
then
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 the student can come back to the usual stuff.
For example
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, a recent study done by a group of
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 revealed that
,
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apply
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 shuffling the different
subjects
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 and learning had
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 impact on the productivity of
students
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 compared with the ones who did the same task for the same period of time.
Secondly
Linking Words
, learning about different areas rather than restricting to a certain
subject
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, significantly Improve
knowledge
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 which is essential for a
university
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 student. it is not necessary to go into deep but it is required to have a
surface level
Add a hyphen
surface-level
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 idea on different aspects. It has become apparent that, generally,
public
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the public
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 sees the undergraduates as a bunch of
knowledge
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 and in social situations, if an undergraduate reflects a
knowledge
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 barrier, it is not good for the entire higher education system.
For instance
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, one of the medical faculty
students
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 from
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University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of California had a chance to
exploring Egypt
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explore the Egyptian
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 pyramids because of his great
knowledge
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on
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of
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 history though his major was medicine. in conclusion, some people say that
,
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apply
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 academic
students
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 should learn
other
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another subject
other subjects
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subject
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 as well apart from the major
subjects
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while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others say that, they must learn only
Use synonyms
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
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 required for their qualification.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University
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students
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 must learn
other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subject
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 as well
in addition
Linking Words
 to their usual components because it helps to keep
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 mindset and it enhances the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of the
students
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 as well.

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task response
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your introduction should clearly outline the perspectives you will discuss as well as your own stance. Your conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your sentences flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words effectively to create cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
To develop your argument further, provide more detailed examples and explain how they support your point. This will help in making your response more complete and persuasive.
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