Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Numerous individuals argue that fine arts like visual arts and
music
do not enhance folk's life so the government ought not to spend money on it. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the given statement and I will elaborate on it in this
essay.
To begin
with, nowadays we can see a lot of art
such
as paint, music
and visual art
. Some crowd’s like paint, and others like music
. Moreover
, sometimes art
assists a patient who has a mental disease. For example
, a
child who has a disease named ADHD, various studies show that as a treatment, watching the visual arts and listening to Change preposition
for a
music
is very effective for child patients. Furthermore
, art
can help children's mental development, and affect their creativity which leads to help find their talent and other abilities. So, it is good not only for youngster's mental advancement but also
for children who have some diseases.
In the same way, music
is a good benefit for the population. when famous singers sing about love or romance, most folks are moved by that song, which makes them close to nations who have the same interests. Besides
, music
has the power to the public's minds, so when they listen to music
or movie OST, they can feel more comfortable and relaxed, which reduces their stress and makes them healthy. For instance
, several studies show that if people have diseases like cancer, doctors recommend listening to music
their favourites, and a few sufferer's cancer is reduced. Therefore
, the government should spend on money art
.
In conclusion, I completely disagree with this
topic. We continue to develop art
because it can assist many people as well as
heal. So, the government more invest in art
and that will be good for our society.Submitted by livewire53 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
language
To achieve a higher score in this area, try to use more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures. This will help to convey your ideas more clearly and impressively.
coherence
Your examples and points are relevant, but the connection between them and your main argument can be made clearer. This will strengthen your overall argument.
task response
Ensure that you address different viewpoints on the topic to present a balanced argument. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a clear direction for your essay.
examples
You have used relevant examples, like children with ADHD and cancer patients, to support your argument.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to guide the reader through your argument.