Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #people’s #life #government #money

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Numerous individuals argue that fine arts like visual arts and

music

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do not enhance folk's life so the government ought not to spend money on it. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the given statement and I will elaborate on it in

this

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essay.

To begin

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with, nowadays we can see a lot of

art

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such

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as paint,

music

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and visual

art

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. Some crowd’s like paint, and others like

music

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Moreover

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, sometimes

art

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assists a patient who has a mental disease.

For example

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Change preposition

for a

show examples

child who has a disease named ADHD, various studies show that as a treatment, watching the visual arts and listening to

music

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is very effective for child patients.

Furthermore

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art

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can help children's mental development, and affect their creativity which leads to help find their talent and other abilities. So, it is good not only for youngster's mental advancement but

also

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for children who have some diseases. In the same way,

music

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is a good benefit for the population. when famous singers sing about love or romance, most folks are moved by that song, which makes them close to nations who have the same interests.

Besides

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music

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has the power to the public's minds, so when they listen to

music

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or movie OST, they can feel more comfortable and relaxed, which reduces their stress and makes them healthy.

For instance

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, several studies show that if people have diseases like cancer, doctors recommend listening to

music

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their favourites, and a few sufferer's cancer is reduced.

Therefore

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, the government should spend on money

art

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. In conclusion, I completely disagree with

this

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topic. We continue to develop

art

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because it can assist many people

as well as

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heal. So, the government more invest in

art

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and that will be good for our society.

Submitted by livewire53 on Wed Aug 30 2023

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language

To achieve a higher score in this area, try to use more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures. This will help to convey your ideas more clearly and impressively.

coherence

Your examples and points are relevant, but the connection between them and your main argument can be made clearer. This will strengthen your overall argument.

task response

Ensure that you address different viewpoints on the topic to present a balanced argument. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the task.

introduction

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a clear direction for your essay.

examples

You have used relevant examples, like children with ADHD and cancer patients, to support your argument.

structure

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to guide the reader through your argument.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many cities are currently facing a serious housing shortage. What are some of the reasons for this shortage and what solution can you suggest.

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?