IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #video #computer #games #children #effects #child
Nowadays,
television
,
video
 and
computer
 games play a key role in child's life. Few people believe that children who are spending
time
 on
television
 and
video
 or
computer
 games will be more benefited, others think
this
 has harmful effects on them. Here, we are going to discuss how they can gain knowledge and can become sharp thinkers by using them as well as drawbacks
such
 as addiction, obesity, impact on studies and exposure to harmful content.
First
, let us see how children can gain more general knowledge by watching
television
 and how they can become smarter by playing
video
 or
computer
 games. If children play
video
 games,
then
 there are plenty of chances that they can think in various ways which obviously leads them to become sharp thinkers. By watching
Television
, they will get to know what is happening around them all over the world.
Next
, we are going to see side effects of spending
time
 on
television
 and
video
 games
such
 as addiction, obesity, violence, effect on studies and exposure to bad content. Many surveys explained how children become addicted to games,
therefore
 they just like to play for hours without even moving which absolutely leads to addiction and
this
 lack of physical activity leads to obesity.
For example
, if we see children who play war games which involves gun shooting become more violent than children who doesn't play. All of these impact on their studies. There are multiple chances that the children can get exposure to negative content by watching
television
 if parents do not take enough precautions. According my opinion, if we put a
time
 limit for them to spend
time
 on
television
 and
video
 or
computer
 games,
then
 they will get more benefit.
Submitted by okula.yenugu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: