At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

In many countries, the highest proportion of

population

Suggestion

the population

is younger people compare to the old people. There are both advantages and disadvantages about

this

issue. In my opinion the

pluspoints

Suggestion

plus points

of the increasing number of young people are eclipsed by

it’s

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

drawbacks.

Young generation

Suggestion

The younger generation

Younger generation

Younger generations

can bring about a great number of merits.

First

and foremost, younger people play a vital role in the economy of

country

Suggestion

the country

a country

. They are healthy and societies need a dynamic workforce. They spend their salaries on housing, doing recreational activities unlike the elderly people who government

should be spend

Suggestion

should spend

a lot of money for their health problems.

Secondly

, being young people is essential to have a vital and prospectus society because they are full of energy and always

volunteer take apart

Suggestion

volunteer to take a part

volunteer take a part

in various festivals and social groups. The

last

but not the

lest

used to form the superlative

least

, being younger assists to fill the gap between countries because they can increase the cross-cultural understanding because they are

addict

Suggestion

addicted

to surfing in the internet, most of them technologically-literate and they easily socialize with different people in various countries and they are willing to change the traditional thought.

However

, the downside of the increasing people cannot be overlooked.

To begin

with, there are not only a lot of social problems

such

as crime, corruption, addiction

…

Accept space

…

So on because young people have more energy to commit a crime, but

also

there

are

Suggestion

less job opportunity and if the government do not measure to tackle with

this

problem, they will have social unrest.

Moreover

, society will face with lack of

expert

Suggestion

expertise

and professional employee in the diverse fields because the most of young people do not have

adequate experiment

Suggestion

an adequate experiment

. In

conclusion it

Accept comma addition

conclusion, it

is appears

Suggestion

appears

has appeared

appear

appearing

to me that the young generation is crucial to have a dynamic society and they represent the future of the country so the disadvantages of lack of elderly people should not be overrated as the benefits of them are more significant.

Submitted by safahs1991 on Thu Dec 05 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What coulbe be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lesson pressure on worlds fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

*In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. *To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?