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Writing Samples
Band 7

You would like a temporary job working in the summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children and young people next summer. Write a letter to the organizers of the summer camp. In your letter: explain what sort of job you would like to do describe your personality say what experience and skills you have

#job #summer #camp #sports #activities #children #people #organizers #sort #personality #skills
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Dear Sir or Madam, My name is James Goodbread and I am 25 years old. The reason I am writing
this
 letter is to ask for a temporary job, I just finished college and I am eager to embark on a new endeavor
this
 next summer. I have been following your summer camp activities for some time and I believe it aligns perfectly with my desires and skills The major I just concluded is regarding physical education. I am aware that you offer sports and outdoor activities for children and young people, which is great because
that is
 directly related to my passion. With that, I am looking for an opportunity and I would love to be a part of your team seeking to stimulate physical exercises and social interaction within the newer generation of people. I am a great team player and a focused worker, always have been.
Additionally
, working with children and young people is something I am keen on and have deep experience with. I spent a few years in Canada working beside educational institutions with a clear purpose in mind, to bolster local community well-being; that was a transcending and invaluable experience that I am certain would amplify your capabilities when I am on board. I look forward to hearing from you, feel free to contact me using my phone number. Best Regards, James
Submitted by Danarvelini on

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task achievement
Ensure you address all points of the prompt fully. While your enthusiasm and passion are well-conveyed, be more explicit about the type of job you desire and how your skills directly translate to potential roles within the camp.
coherence cohesion
Your letter is structured well, but you could improve by connecting your ideas more explicitly. Use transitional phrases to show the flow from your background to your specific interest in the job, and then onto your relevant experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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