IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some People think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts
Government
fundings
a collection of tools and other articles used by an artisan to make jewelry or clothing or shoes
findings
 are bliss for many underprivileged people. There are many programs and research projects conducted by the
government
.
Instead
 of spending money on the arts, it can be effectively spent
in
Suggestion
on
 forest conservation and exploring
space
 science. Recently, 40% of
amazon's forest area
Suggestion
the amazon's forest area
was destroyed
Suggestion
were destroyed
 due to a natural fire which was producing a total of around 37% of oxygen in
this
 universe and more than 100 species were not alive after that tragedy. Fundings on forest conservation will make a huge impact on
this
 entire globe and nature's health.
For instance
, the
government
 can run a program or reward someone when they plant a tree or plant. Elon Musk has funded a program named "TeamTrees", a person who gets to plant a tree will get $10. If a businessman can do something like
this
, why not the
government
 cannot do
this
.
Also
,
one
 other important thing to mention people are
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 from
one
space
 to another to find whether a human can survive on a different planet. Nowadays, an improvement in
space
 science has reached great heights. NASA has successfully launched a missile to understand the habitat of the moon. Still, we have some on-going
government
 research projects
such
 as finding the native language origin and finding the world's
first
 coin. The
government
 could start taking a look into these projects and support them financially where they can get to
discovery
Suggestion
discover
 the outer
space
 world. To summarize, I strongly believe that the
government
 should be open to more ideas and start investing in other fields not just only in
arts
Suggestion
the arts
. Arts is
also
important yet
Accept comma addition
important, yet
one
 should not restrict themselves with
one
 field. Every day, a discovery or an invention is made in
this
 world. So it would be great if democracy helps them financially.
Submitted by yogesh.gmx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: