Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

When creating a new town as a project, it is important to add
activities
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that individuals could enjoy. Some believe that it is important to have a sports complex and different types of parks rather than a shopping complex. In my perspective,
although
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both of the ideas have their own advantages, I believe people will be more excited about the idea of building a complex and playgrounds.
Firstly
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, most individuals would love to spend their
time
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on a sport which they enjoy,
moreover
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, it is healthy to be physically active as well.
For example
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, having a sports complex with a swimming pool, basketball court, badminton, table tennis and squash would certainly give plenty of options to spend their free
time
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. Nowadays, most people spend hours in a gym,
therefore
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having a fully equipped gym could be a plus point.
Likewise
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, if there are plenty of physical
activities
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available, families will surely spend most of their
time
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within the town.
Secondly
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, playgrounds provide the option of doing
activities
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together,
for instance
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, outdoor courts, bicycle tracks and jogging tracks could
keep
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apply
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help them
to
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apply
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build up their bonds.
Furthermore
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, they could have picnics and relax
while
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reading a book or listening to music.
Last
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but not least, families could use parks to have entertainment
activities
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such
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as musical shows, plays and dramas. Even if it is during the day or night, a park could be used for many events. Even though having a complex and recreation grounds could bring certain advantages, they could not provide the facilities with a shopping complex offers. Individuals spend
time
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in a mall, especially when they want to buy something or to grab a meal at the food court. Those we could not count as
activities
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which you might do in your free hours.
In addition
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, most playgrounds have food courts nowadays, and because of that, the
time
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spent in complex shopping malls slowly declining. In summary, people in
this
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generation prefer to spend most of their
time
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doing an activity with their family, so parks and complexes could be the best options. In my opinion, the advantages of providing a park and sports facilities outweigh the benefits of having shopping centres.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas clearly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', or 'on the other hand' to show the order of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are good, but try to restate your main point more clearly in the conclusion at the end.
task achievement
While you have some good ideas, you could provide more specific examples or details to support your main points.
task achievement
In the conclusion, you should clearly summarize the main reasons why you prefer parks and sports facilities over shopping centers.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic and present it well in your introduction.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of sports and parks are strong and show understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parks
  • sports
  • facilities
  • shopping
  • centers
  • free time
  • important
  • provide
  • community
  • health
  • lifestyle
  • physical activity
  • mental well-being
  • nature
  • relax
  • events
  • belonging
  • teamwork
  • interaction
  • consumer
  • lifestyle
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