IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #attention #lives #relationships #celebrities #actors #singers #footballers #time #people
Radio, television and the internet repeat newses and stories about the lives and relationships of famous people
such
 as actors, singers, footballers and etc.
Although
 I agree and believe we should know about the lives of celebrities and I do not think that the media should spend more time to repeat the lives of ordinary people
instead
. In my point, famous people are good models for everyone. Because one day, they were ordinary people. And when the media keep narrating and writing about the lives of these people, we can learn lots of things from them. Actually, their lives can be a good proof for those, who have big dreams. Because they will figure out that life might be hard, but if we keep practicing, concentrating on our aim(s) and believing in ourselves, we can get what we want.
In contrast
, some people believe focus on celebrities lives have bad effects on people's lives.
For instance
, it causes spending too much time on fashions or teenager's behaviour. Some of them start to act in the exact way that their favourite singer or actor does. They think it is very important that we know about the lifestyle of ordinary people. Whereas, we can get more motivation and learn more by knowing that how many famous people work hard to achieve the things that they want. How they fight with their problems and defeat them. In conclusion, I assume the media have to focus on famous people's lives. We should know about successful people. About their condition in their lifetime. Because if we pay more attention to the lives of ordinary people, it will be hard to open a new horizon

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: